I already know Rider’s schedule will let up a little after the season, but he’ll still have NFL recruiting and agents to deal with as he preps for the draft, and I’ll be student-teaching in the spring, which is supposed to be super stressful.
What if Rider and I can’t survive the pressures we both face this year?
What if he and I go our separate ways after we graduate?
Not only will you lose Rider, but Poppy too.
Fear grips me as I’m reminded of my mom. One day she was singing off-key and making Benny and me waffles, and the next she was gone.
Life never offers any promises.
Neither do quarterbacks,a cynical voice in my head warns.
* * *
The sandwich settles like a rock in the pit of my stomach.
Ever since that phone call with my aunt this morning, my anxiety is through the roof. I can’t help feeling like something bad is going to happen.
My thoughts circle back to Rider. I tried to keep things positive with him last night, saying everything would be okay with Adele, but that’s because I wanted him to calm down. While it worked and chilled him out, I realize I’m waiting for the other shoe to drop. Waiting for Adele to call and say Cricket’s back and wants Poppy.
And possibly Rider too.
I’m almost ashamed to admit it’s a concern. Poppy’s welfare should be my sole focus. And yet Rider and Ijuststarted seeing each other. Hello? He hasn’t even officially called me his girlfriend.
I bite my bottom lip and wonder if I’m overreacting.
I’ve survived so much by keeping a low profile and being cautious. By not taking stupid chances.
And Rider’s always been the exception to my rules.
Now I’m in so deep, if something happens now and we break up, I’ll be devastated. What happened freshman year will pale in comparison.
As implausible as it might seem—that Rider would want to get with Poppy’s mother—people do that all the time. Date or even marry for the sake of a child.
I would know. It’s why my parents married. Because my mother got pregnant with me.
Rider won’t ditch you like that. He might not use the word ‘girlfriend’, but he’s treated you like one.
I tell myself he’s just gun-shy. After all, there’s no rule that requires him to stamp a label on our relationship.
We have time to figure everything out.
We do.
When Sienna texts me that she’ll be out tonight with her guy, I can’t help but compare my situation to hers.
They’re not the same, Gabriela. You and Rider do things in public together all the time. He’s not like Sienna’s mystery man.
But I’m bothered enough to want to share my concerns with him. If it weren’t days before his last regular season game, I would bring it up. It’s not like me to hold back. Except I want to respect his need to keep things drama-free between us. If I put myself in his shoes, being a sudden single parent would be more than enough to max out what I could handle.
After this weekend, he has almost a month before the playoffs. I’ll wait until next week to bring up my concerns. Really, what’s a few more days?
Crumpling the wax paper from my sandwich in one hand, I look around the student union as it gets busier. Rider said he might stop by here this afternoon, after he talked to his professor. He’s obviously running late, and I need to get to class.
As I throw away my trash, a familiar female voice calls out, “And who do we have here?”
I turn and find Miranda arm-in-arm with Zoe.
