When he’s finished, we stand, both catching our breath and coming back down to earth for a long moment, struggling to breathe. I turn my head back, and he nuzzles my neck, but he won’t look me in the eyes. He finally withdraws from my body and I wince, already aching between my legs.
“Wait here,” he says, pulling up his pants.
I turn around, picking my dress up from the floor. He returns as I'm putting the dress on. He has a clean, wet rag.
“Here,” he says, reaching low to wipe the stickiness from between my legs. I balance myself by gripping onto his shoulder as I feel the warm rag wipe me clean.
“Thanks,” I say awkwardly. The tension is still there. It’s suffocating. As soon as he's done, I finish getting dressed, pulling my panties on and watching Charlie. But he never looks at me the whole time.
I’m trying to be what he wants but I can feel him already slipping away.
He tosses the rag aside and catches me by the waist. Finally, his green eyes stare back at me and my heart flips. His mouth kicks up, half a smile on his face. He kisses me, slow and tender.
When I break away, his smile falters and he lets me go. “I still have to close. It’s going to be awhile. An hour, at least.” He scratches the back of his head, looking away.
“Oh,” I respond but so many questions linger at the back of my throat. “I think I’ll go. I have to work in the morning.”
“Right,” he says with a frown. “Right, of course. I’ll just walk you to the door then.”
“No need,” I assure him. “I think I can make it a whole hundred feet alone.”
He looks like he’s going to argue with me, but then he swallows it back. “Sure. I’ll see you later, then?” he asks.
“Yeah. Sure,” I answer him as I slip on my heels, only then remembering I never told him anything I wanted to say. It hurts way too much to not be a breakup.
“Okay. Text me when you get home, let me know you got there safe.”
I give him a half smile that I don’t mean, feeling the split between us.What the hell is wrong with me?
I open my mouth to tell him, but I can’t. He has to work, and I need to get home. If I say anything right now, I know I’m going to cry. I’m going to be that clingy girl he didn’t want. Instead, I let myself out and cry alone in the car on my way home alone.
Charlie
Little Evie is upright in Joseph’s lap, staring back at me with wide eyes as I shove peas into my mouth.
I don’t taste a damn thing. It’s been five days.Five fucking days since that night at the bar.
I should have ended it that night at the bar or at least told her I knew what she told Diane. I should have told her no, but I just wanted to feel her one last time. Five days and she hasn’t said a word to me. Hasn’t come by. She never wanted a relationship with me.
I’m so fucking pathetic, wrapped up in a woman who doesn’t want me. Who never wanted me. I remember how she tried to get out of it. I should have let her.
I’m so fucking stupid.
My fork clinks on the ceramic plate as I lower my head, feeling like shit.
“How long is their trip?” Cheryl asks Ma. It’s just Cheryl, Joseph, Ma and Pops while Ali and Michael are on their honeymoon. Without Ali here, it’s quieter than usual. Or maybe I just think it is.
“A full week,” Ma answers, taking a sip of her Diet Pepsi and shifting in her seat.
“Oh wow,” Cheryl says, absently kissing the top of Evie’s head, although the little girl still stares back at me. “That’s a long honeymoon.”
“We can go on another,” Joseph pipes up then shovels another bite in his mouth.
Cheryl scoffs, leaning back in her seat and yawning before she says, “Like when the kids are in college?”
Joseph starts to answer, but Ma cuts in, “Kids?” Her eyes flicker to Cheryl’s stomach.
“Oh don’t get ahead of yourself, Ma.” Cheryl stretches one arm over her head, another yawn taking over as she does.
