We’re just having fun.
I text her back before she can answer, my heart pounding in my chest. I lean back in my seat, the legs screeching as they slide across the floor and run my hand through my hair.
I feel like I’m in a little over my head.I stare at her response for a moment. That sick feeling was right. I knew it. She’s not happy anymore just playing around. I don’t blame her. She knows what she wants, and me fucking around with her is just causing problems for her.
What do you mean?I ask her, as my stomach sinks. I rub my eyes, feeling exhausted and hating myself. What did I really expect from her anyway? I huff out a breath and shake my head as my phone beeps and her reply comes through.
I’m not really sure what it means to just have fun with someone. It seems like I’m going to end up getting hurt and I’m not sure it’s a smart thing for me to do. I’m sorry.
I feel like shit, looking fixedly at the phone in my hand. Brushing my hand over my head out of frustration, I look up and see James at the bar, staring at me as he fills a glass with ice. I nearly snap at him, feeling stressed out and pissed off, but he breaks my stare and looks away as soon as he sees me glaring back.
I suck it up and text Grace back. I knew this was a bad idea. We’re looking for different things in life.
Are you still able to come to the wedding or do I have to tell my sister we broke up?
Shit that hurt to write. I ignore it all, knowing it’s best though. Better to break it off before she gets hurt. Because that’s all I’m going to do anyway.
She’s quick to answer:I’ll still go with you. And just so you know, I really do like you.
I know I should say something to put her at ease. I should tell her something to make her feel safe and comfortable. But I don’t want to lie to her and worse, I don’t want to lead her on. I’m not ready to get married and have kids or any of that shit. And that’s what she’s looking for. Especially knowing she may not be able to. I don’t need a baby-crazy woman trying to lock me down… but it doesn’t stop me from wanting her. At least for as long as I can have her.
Soon as this wedding is over, she’ll probably stop coming here altogether.
Night, Charlie.
I swallow thickly as I look at the screen.
I type in a few responses, but delete them all. I’m not going to lead her on. I won’t do that to her; she deserves better. I finally settle on something simple.
See you later,sweetheart.
Grace
The second I finally pull my headphones off at work, Diane calls my name. My gaze flicks to the clock before turning to see that she’s ready to go for the day, her jacket already on and purse over her shoulder.
“Hey,” she says, striding into my cubicle and leaning against the desk. “I don’t want to ruin your productivity or anything, but it’s almost seven. Our meeting went long.”
She doesn’t need to but gestures to the salespeople who I can see filtering out of the conference room. Rubbing under my eyes I slowly stand up, stretching. I don’t know the last time I got up. I’ve buried myself in work all day. Another productive day.
“You’re not interrupting,” I answer her. “I just came to a stopping point, creatively. Perfect timing.”
“Well, we’re going to the Local. You should come, assuming you’re not too busy with Charlie,” she says, teasing.
At the end of the aisle I spot the gaggle of women gathering near Diane’s cubicle and then glance at my desk. If I start on another project, I’ll be here until midnight at least and I’m sure as heck not doing that.
“Okay,” I say with both a shrug and a smile. “Why not?”
“Cool,” her peppy tone is infectious. “We’ll see you there. It’s karaoke night!”
She shoots finger guns at me, and I can’t help but smile. “See you there.”
The traffic is heavy, and I end up with less time than I’d planned to refresh my makeup and take off my leggings, leaving me in a very short pale peach dress.
Rushing to get there before it’s too late and everyone else is several drinks ahead of me, I let my hair down on the way to the Local. By the time I pull into the parking lot I look — well, at least respectable. The car door shuts with a loud click and I spot Diane instantly, who’s waiting outside the bar.
Taking in the bar patio, I’m immediately unsure. There are six tables outside, every single one packed with twenty-somethings ready to party. They’re loud, and a few are smoking cigarettes. I rub my forearm as I walk toward Diane, feeling like this isn’t exactly my vibe.
“There you are!” Her arm wraps around my shoulder, pulling me in close and I nearly stumble but have to laugh. “I need my drinking buddy. Claire’s driving us home.”
