But the second those words were out of my mouth, that we needed to talk and I wanted to apologize, her shoulders got stiff. She gave me a curt nod and jumped in the truck, and once again, I realize I’m sorely out of practice with women.
I glance at my rearview mirror and catch her eyes briefly before they flit away, and she focuses her attention out the window.
Yeah, great job there, Ethan. You weirded her out.
The tires of my truck crunch the gravel in the parking lot when we pull up to the diner. Not sure what has Logan so excited to grab a bite here, since we frequent the Lone Star, but I’m grateful to give Tori a break from preparing dinner. That’s another thing bothering me. She’s working far more than I’m paying her to do. It’s odd that my first impression of her was that she might be a slacker because she’s been nothing but a damn hard worker.
The smell of country food, the kind slathered in gravy and served with a side of biscuits, makes my mouth water when we walk through the front door. It’s a busy night, but after greeting a few neighbors, we crowd around a table.
Tori situates Cody in a high chair at the end and smooths back his wavy tufts of blond hair before she sits next to him. Reaching into the diaper bag, she pulls out a toy truck for my son to play with, which he snatches up gleefully to make zoom-zoom noises. Cody’s sweet nature seems to relax her, as though her happiness somehow hinges on his.
It’s hard to ignore how easygoing she is with my kids. How readily they’ve taken to her. Even when they’re running around like monsters, she seems to take it in stride.
Nothing bothered me more than Allison’s perpetual irritation with our children. She acted like they were going out of their way to personally offend her with their rambunctiousness. Even after a weekend away at that spa in Austin, she never seemed relaxed around our family.
The darkness that always sweeps through me when I think of my wife hovers like a shadow in my peripheral vision, but I don’t want to go down that road tonight. I’ve spent too much time sick over the failure of my marriage. Sitting next to my daughter and watching her vibrant smile, hearing Cody’s wild laughter when Tori tickles him, makes me realize I have a lot to be grateful for.
That’s what the last two weeks have made me realize. Seeing my kids laugh like they mean it, seeing how carefree they’re becoming again—that’s my bullseye and that’s what I want to focus on. Moving forward, not living in the past.
After we get our drinks, Logan slaps a notepad on the table I hadn’t realized he’d brought, and with a flick of a finger, he slides it to me.
“Wanna finish telling you the plan for the weekend.” Logan turns to Tori. “You mind if we chat about the ranch? We need to talk through the logistics for those two new horses we’re boarding.”
Anxiety riddles its way through my shoulders as though Allison can sense we’re talking about work at the dinner table.Old habits die hard.
But Tori gives him a sweet smile. “I don’t mind at all. I’d like to hear what you guys do.”
Logan ticks off item after item, and I jot everything down before I forget. Shit’s easy to forget when you have two kids and a barn full of horses to look after.
“So they’re not all yours?” Tori asks, looking between me and Logan. “The horses, I mean.”
I open my mouth, but my brother is already explaining. “Eight are ours, and six are boarders, and we’re adding two more to the tally.”
Tori draws her finger through the condensation on her glass of iced tea. “This is going to sound crazy, but I like the smell of the barn. I don’t know if it’s the leather from the saddles, the bales of hay, or the horses themselves. It’s this great earthy scent. I can’t explain it.”
My lips pull into a smile as I look away. I love that smell too. It’s one of my earliest memories. Playing in the barn with my dad, racing from one end to the other with my arms spread out wide. Breathing in the warmth that you can only find when you’re surrounded by these incredible animals.
Makes me miss my father so damn much.
Across from me, Logan laughs. “Honey, you are welcome to shovel thatsmellwhenever you’re in the mood. Just let me know.”
A growl revs low in my chest. Leave it to my brother to reduce everything to a pile of manure. “She’s not shoveling shit, Logan.” Mila giggles at my dirty word, but I’m too tired to care that I’ve cursed in front of my kids. “Tori does enough for us already.”
“Take it easy, bro.” He holds his hands up. “I was joking. Mostly.”
“Yeah, well, I’m not.”
Before I can descend into a foul mood, our waitress slides giant plates of steaming chicken fried steak across the table.Thank you, Jesus.
I turn to prepare a serving for the baby, but Tori’s already cutting up Cody’s meal into toddler-sized bites.
“Want to swap seats with me?” I ask her. “That way I can feed him. Sorry, I hadn’t really thought through the seating arrangement.”
She helps him take a bite. “I don’t mind feeding the little man.”
Watching her take care of my son floods me with warmth. As we fall into easy conversation, I can’t help but sneak glances at her from time to time.
Dinner is delicious, and I’m ready to fall into a food coma when two familiar faces pop up over Tori’s shoulder.
