“No,” he finally replies. “You wanted to tell me yourself, and I know you hate your story, your life being out of your control. That everyone else gets to judge and interpret you. At least with me, I want you to be able to tell your story yourself. That’s how I want to hear it.”
My prince.
He sees me. He knows me. He loves me, and I thank God for a second chance.
“Thank you for that, August,” I say, gulping back tears. “Caleb’s bodyguard kept me in that house. Made sure I could never leave. He stood by while Caleb beat and raped me.”
The word rises from hell and climbs up my throat, burning and sulfurous in my lungs.
“I was . . . I was raped by Caleb on a . . . on a regular basis at gunpoint.” I pause for the softly uttered expletive from the other end. It all rushes back so vividly that my scalp stings when I think of Caleb jerking me by the hair.
“Iris, God.” I managed to hold backmytears, but I hear them in his voice—the agony for me. “Baby, I want to be with you right now.”
“I know. I want that, too. Tonight?” I ask hopefully. “You think you’ll make it there tonight?”
“If I have to drive a bus to the nearest city that can get me a flight out, I will. I promise.”
“Just no bodyguard. Please,” I whisper. “I know it’s silly to you, but—”
“No bodyguard,” he agrees, still reluctantly. “The driver will drop you guys off at the house. You’ll only be there a few hours without me, and I’ll see you tonight.”
I turn off all the food and abandon everything. I know this feeling. I remember my family running, chased by a pending storm. The panic, the hysteria. The terror. I feel it all riding to the airport and flying to Louisiana. Thank God for Sarai. Occupying her, soothing her on the plane, feeding her when she’s hungry—the business of motherhood helps take my mind off the storm whirring around me, picking up strength with every person who sees that file. I’m not googling or surfing the web. I don’t want to know what’s going on. When the time comes, I’ll speak.
It’s only when we are inside and the driver is on his way back to the main road that I really stop to think. To take myself off autopilot and process the implications of the file coming out. Was someone out to get Caleb? It wouldn’t surprise me, of course. Surely, I’m not the only one he’s been cruel to. August knew he was a jackass. Andrew knew. Andrew helped me with the medical reports.
Andrew?
Caleb had something on Andrew to keep him under his thumb. Was this Andrew’s revenge?
If so, thanks a lot, buddy.
Sarai is bathed and in her nightgown of choice, a San Diego Waves T-shirt, and I’m wearing one of August’s button-ups I grabbed from his place when my phone rings.
“Story, Mommy,” Sarai says plaintively, holding up her copy ofGoodnight Moon.
“Mommy will read. Just hold on.” I run into the kitchen where I left my phone, making sure to check the caller ID before I answer.
“Lo, hey. Thanks for calling back so quickly.”
“Of course, girl.” Sympathy and anger mix in her voice. “I wish I could be there. I’m stuck here in New York ’til the weekend. How did this happen?”
“I have no idea. A copy of the file was delivered to Avery Hughes. She’s dating Mack Decker, one of the Waves front-office execs, and she gave him a heads-up.”
“Are you okay?” Concern softens Lo’s usual brashness. “You know you have nothing to be ashamed of.”
“Yeah, I know.” My laugh sounds hollow. “But everyone’s going to judge me anyway. Make assumptions. Presume to know. I never wanted this to come out. It was purely a threat to keep Caleb out of our lives.” I flop onto MiMi’s flower-patterned couch. “Man, this is an ugly couch.”
“What?” Lo laughs. “The one in the living room?”
“Yeah. It’s like one of those gators in the bayou threw up a garden.”
“Yeah, it’s bad,” she says, and we share a laugh that dies at the same time. “I miss MiMi so much.”
“She was amazing.” I swipe at the corners of my eyes, surprised by the tears. “I wish I’d had more time with her.”
“You had the time you were supposed to have. I believe we go where we’re supposed to go when we’re supposed to and that people are in our lives when they’re supposed to be.”
“What if they never should have been in your life at all?” I bite my lip. “I wish I’d never met Caleb.”
