“We talk about everything,” I continue with a smile. “Work, life, ball. It’s so easy, so natural for us.”
Lotus sits up on the couch, leaning forward and pressing her elbows to her knees.
“He sounds like a great guy. He’s fine as hell.”
“He loves Sarai,” I add with a smile. “Every time he’s in the Elevation building he goes by to see her, even if it’s just for a few minutes. She can’t say his full name, so she calls him Gus. He hates it, but he won’t make her stop.”
“You’ve already fallen for him,” Lo says softly.
Groaning, I flip onto my back, the coloring book abandoned. Of course, I’ve fallen for him. I’m not an idiot. I started falling for him the day we met, and I haven’t stopped falling since.
“That doesn’t change how I need to handle this,” I tell Lo, my eyes fixed to the beamed ceiling in our small house. It’s in a great neighborhood, but our place is small—just the right size for Sarai and me. A tiny square of grass serves as our backyard, and we have a lemon tree that scents the air when we sit outside. There’s a second-hand . . . okay, third- or fourth-hand car in the driveway, purchased with a little bit of the money MiMi left for Lo and me to split. It’s not much, but it’s all mine.
“When I told you to change your course,” Lo says, bringing me back, her eyes and voice matched for seriousness, “I didn’t just mean find a job. There’s a life out there, girl. You are not just somebody’s mama.”
“And I’m not just somebody’s woman either,” I say curtly. “Believe me. I’ve been that.”
“Don’t let Caleb win, Bo.”
Since Lo helped me escape and already knows what happened, she’s really my only outlet to speak freely about it. That NDA keeps me locked down, but it’s also the agreement that gave me my freedom.
“I’m not letting him win.” I sit, finding her eyes and looking at her straight. “I just have reservations.”
“About August?”
I shrug, not sure where my reservations stem from, but sure that I have them.
“It’s hard to trust again,” I admit. “I missed all the signs with Caleb. The jealousy and possessiveness. Pressing for deeper commitment than I was ready for. Isolating me from the people I care about. When you’rethatwrong about someone, it makes you cautious.”
“And that’s it?” Lotus presses.
“I also worry about what Caleb will think—what he’ll do.”
“Excuse me?” Lo’s face wears full-coverage indignation. “What’s that sombitch got to do with anything?”
“He hates August. Hell, August hates Caleb, too.” I plow a nervous hand through my hair. “You know it was Caleb’s dirty play that broke August’s leg two seasons ago, right? He did that on purpose, Lo. And he told me he’d do worse if I got involved with August.”
“He can’t do a thing to either of you now.”
“That’s easy to say when it’s not you,” I say bitterly. “You have no idea.”
“So now we gonna compare rape stories?” Lo asks softly. “Is that it?”
“Oh, God. No.” I rush to the couch to sit and grab her hand. “I didn’t mean it that way. I know you know how it feels to be violated. I just meant . . .” How do I make her understand the depths to which Caleb sank to control me?
“Caleb is crazy. Like truly crazy.” I close my eyes against a torrent of nightmarish memories. “The things I’m holding over him only work if he cares about his career and his endorsements and everything else more than he cares about . . .” I don’t want to make my fears more real by voicing them.
“More than he cares about you?” Lo finishes for me.
“Yeah.” I hesitate before going on. “He was obsessed with me. I know that sounds self-absorbed or conceited or something, but it’s true.”
“I’ve seen his crazy, Bo. You don’t have to convince me.”
“He threatened to hurt August again if I didn’t stay away from him. He threatened to hurt you, too.”
“Me?” Lo touches her chest. “The hell. I’d like to see him try.”
“I told you before he knew your address by heart. Knew your schedule and where you worked in New York. I didn’t even know that.”
