Take them back. Your soul is yours. Your heart is yours. Your body is yours. Yours to keep and yours to share.
MiMi’s incantation circles my thoughts.
“The dreams you had. Your ambitions,” Lo continues, in unknowing chorus with MiMi’s voice in my head. “Reclaim them.”
“But Sarai needs—”
“Sarai needs to see what we never saw,” Lo says dryly. “Let her see her mother pursuing her dreams. Let her see you standing on your own two feet.”
“I will need the money,” I murmur. The little bit of cash Andrew smuggled to me when I left will run low eventually, even though our expenses have been next to nothing out here.
“You need more than money. Girl, you need a life.” Lo stands, too, taking Sarai from me.
“Do you remember any of your Louisiana geography?” Lo asks.
“Um, that would be a no.” I laugh. “I mean, the basics, yeah.”
“Did you ever learn about deltaic switching?”
“No idea,” I tell her, frowning and searching my memory.
“I don’t remember all the details, but the long and short of it is that the Mississippi River searches for a shorter route to the sea. It makes these deposits of silt and sand over time to get there faster.” Lo shrugs. “Think of it like geographical evolution. Well, the bayou was one of the points of deltaic switching, and over time, about every thousand years or so, it literally changes its course.”
“Wow.” I’m not sure what else to say. “What does that mean, though?”
“It means that this very spot where we’re standing right now was powerful enough to be a part of that—to help set the new course for the freaking Mississippi River.” She starts walking back up the shaded path to the house, but looks over her shoulder, locking our eyes.
“Take a few minutes and think about that,” she says. “Don’t let Caleb define the rest of your life. Change your course.”
I take more than a few minutes after she walks away. I stand there until the sun disappears, and the night spreads the sky with black velvet and studs it with stars. I know I should go in. I’m never this close to the river when it’s dark, but tonight, there’s no fear of gators or snakes or whatever the swamp could use against me. Tonight, the crickets whisper Lo’s words back to me.
Change your course.
And in the lapping water, I hear MiMi’s voice, too.
Breathe in. Breathe out.
I draw a deep, bracing breath, strength in my lungs and pulsing through my blood. I breathe out my fears, releasing my reservations and all that could hold me back. And then I feel it. The power that changed a river’s course floods my veins, and I rise inside, so high I assume a new form, a new shape. A new course.
I rush down the path back to the house, stumbling occasionally in the dark. And it’ll be that way sometimes, running this course, stumbling. All that I’ve been through, all that is to come, none of it is easy. There is no quick fix, but tonight, I feel powerful enough to forge ahead.
Before I lose the nerve, I dig around in my purse until I find it. A small white card, bent, stained, and nearly forgotten, that may lead to big plans. May lead to my future. To my new course.
With shaking fingers, I dial.
August
“We need to talk.”
Good things rarely come when Jared says that to me.
I lie back on the couch in his office, my legs crossed at the ankles, my feet propped up on the armrest.
“What’s there to talk about?” I toss a mini basketball up in the air, catching it with one hand. “Pippa’s signing, right?”
“Yeah, I think so.” Jared walks around his desk, sitting on the edge so he’s facing me. “She hasn’t signed the contracts yet, but we’re close.”
“And I didn’t even have to fuck her.” I toss him a grin. “Aren’t you glad to hear my virtue is still intact? It’s called integrity.”
