Logan
SeeingJoey with stitches on her forehead, bruises along her eyes, and as thin as can be, shakes me to thecore.
This is the worst time to unload the whole story on her, but she’s right. I can’t stuff this down anymore. Deep down, I realize she’s stronger than I’m giving her credit for. I’m sick to my stomach thinking she believed Zach was mine and I kept this fromher.
We sit on two hard chairs next to the bed, and I shift in my seat to get the pressure off my left thigh, which is throbbing. “The short version of this is my father had an affair with Samantha about eight years ago. She got pregnant just before hedied.”
Her mouth drops open, but she doesn’t say anything, so I continue. “I didn’t find out about Zach until the summer before last. Samantha came by, wanting child support, talking about suing my father’s estate. We were already dealing with Ethan and Allison’s divorce. Shit was ugly between them, and I was scared as hell we were gonna have to sell the farm to pay out Allison. I figured Samantha entering the picture at that point would make it a foregone conclusion, and we’d lose the ranch. So I talked her into letting me pay the child support myself without going tocourt.”
Joey makes a face. “How old is Samantha? She must’ve been young when she hooked up with your father. And what the hell? He really cheated onBev?”
“Samantha is three years older than me, so yeah, she was young at thetime.”
A nurse pops her head in, checks something on a chart, and tells Joey not to overdo it out of bed. We wait until she leaves tocontinue.
I clear my throat. “I was pissed at my father for so many fucking things, but that wasn’t Zach’s fault. The kid should get a stake in the farm at some point, but he was five at the time, and I figured that could wait. And until Samantha showed up on our doorstep with a little clone of me, I’d never given credence to those rumors that my father had cheated on my mombefore.”
Her eyes widen. “You heardthose?”
“Idid.”
After a long moment, she sighs. “Silas always thought he cheated with our mother, that their relationship was the reason our dad tookoff.”
I wince, hating the toll my father and his selfishness took on Joey’s family. “I’m so sorry, Bitsy, but that’s probablytrue.”
“I just went off on Silas about this the other day. I saw him the afternoon Samantha came over.” Her eyes meet mine briefly, and I nod, encouraging her to continue. “I thought he was crazy for thinking your dad had bedded our mama. I mean, she used to quote scripture to me. How does someone like that have an affair with a marriedman?”
Bowing my head, I run my hands over my jeans and try to think back to that time. “Maybe your mom needed some help or attention. Your father wasn’t around, and my dad, the charmer himself, took it upon himself to comforther?”
“Ugh. That does sound plausible. What dicks. All ofthem.”
I hate that this whole situation disparages her mother. “Did your mama know she was sick bythen?”
“I’m not sure. Maybe.” She nibbles her bottom lip. “But if she did, that would explain why she wanted someone in her life other than Bill Grayson, the towndrunk.”
“I know it doesn’t make it any easier to accept, and we’ll probably never understand, but don’t let any of this tarnish the good memories you had ofher.”
She sniffles, and I look away, knowing this is rough on her. I want to grab her hand, I want to hold her tight, but I’m not sure we’re thereyet.
After a minute, she coughs. “How’s Beverly doing? Is sheheartbroken?”
“She’s hanging in there. She didn’t outright say she knew my dad had stepped out on her, but I’m guessing a part of her sensedit.”
My mother didn’t tell me she’s heartbroken, but I’m pretty sure sheis.
A long silence stretches out between me and Joey, and I shiftuncomfortably.
Finally, she groans. “I’m still having a hard time understanding why you didn’t say something about this. Why keep it to yourself for so long? For two years? Why did you hide this fromeveryone?”
I rub the scruff on my chin. “When Tori came to live with us to nanny for my brother, my mother left for Chicago to visit family for a few weeks.Remember?”
“Yeah,” she saysslowly.
“She didn’t go to Chicago. She went to San Antonio to have a procedure. My mom had dangerously high blood pressure and an arterial blockage, and she needed a stent. Bottom line is she didn’t want anyone to know. She thought Ethan was stressed out with the divorce and had enough on his plate.” My mom and I have had some long talks this week, and she knows I need to tell Joey the whole story. I have her full permission to give Jo the details of my mother’scondition.
“So… you didn’t tell anyone about Zach because of Bev’shealth.”
Nodding, I sigh. “The doctors told me they didn’t want her in any stressful situations. That she needed to rest. And maybe I overreacted, but finding my father face down in his own vomit after he had a massive heart attack shook me up pretty fucking bad. So there was no way I was gonna let a shitty situation that wasn’t even my mother’s fault affect her health. But yeah. That’s why I didn’t tellanyone.”
