Patrick’s seated behind Renee, who’s cooing at Rambo. I cringe when I think about what happened in the last half hour that resulted in this seatingarrangement.
In the back of the cab, wedged between Patrick and our buddy Cash, is a curvy brunette who smiles at me and starts talking, but I’m too pissed to exchangepleasantries.
How did this happen? There was one fucking person I wanted to spend time with, and she’s not even in mytruck.
I turn my head, noticing we’re the last vehicle in thedriveway.
Goddamnit.
She’s gone.Again.
12
Joey
The flat South Texascountryside zips by my window, and the desolate landscape calls to the deep sense of sadness that’s been building in me since Renee Caruso crashed the fantasy I’d built up for thisweekend.
I chat with Tori’s older sister Kat and her husband Brady from the back seat. I’m huddled between an inflatable raft and several dufflebags.
Brady and Kat are the sweetest couple. I’ve come to know them well since they moved here several years ago. Even though I adore them, I’m having a hard time focusing on theconversation.
Because my head is amess.
For a hot minute at Target two days ago, I thought I’d seen a spark of interest in Logan’s eyes, a sensation that’s grown the more time we spendtogether.
This morning shot that balloon out of thesky.
Now, the only thing I can hear is Renee Caruso thanking Logan for invitingher.
Like I want to spend four hours trapped on a road trip with Logan and one of his former—current?—hookups.
While Logan was talking to his mom, Patrick teased Renee about this “being like old times” and how he bet she was “dying to reconnect with Logan.” But the nail in the coffin was how he joked she “can’t leave scratch marks like lasttime.”
I wanted to crawl into a hole anddie.
Instead, I handed Patrick the dog and ran off to find anotherride.
I’m not proud that conversation sent me into a tailspin. You’d think after years of running into girls who’d banged Logan, I’d be used to it, but this week has messed with my heart. We’d been having so much fun together since I got home. Like we were in our own littlebubble.
And that’s theproblem.
This, my time visiting, is a façade. It’s not real. I don’t live with Logan, and I’m not his girlfriend, as much as I’d like to be, and no amount of wishing for that is going to transform him into my Prince Charming. The sooner I come to terms with that, the better off I’llbe.
Easier said thandone.
Brady catches my eye in the rear view mirror. “We heard you’re heading back to Florida after the wedding. Is thatpermanent?”
Why torture myself anymore? Especially since Logan will likely hook up with Renee this weekend. The thought makes me want to turn around and skip the beachaltogether.
“Probably. I need a change in scenery.” Or maybe open-heart surgery to remove the boy nextdoor.
Kat turns in her seat and reaches back for my hand. “We’re going to miss you, and our girls are going to be so sad if yougo.”
I’ve babysat their two daughters countless times over the years. Thinking about this being one of my last days here to see my friends breaks me in a whole new way. My voice comes out quivery. “I’m going to miss them too. Maybe we can video chatsometimes.”
She nods. “We’d love that. And if you ever need something, you let us know. You’re just as much family to us as my sister andEthan.”
I give her a watery smile. She has no idea what that means tome.
