Itdoesn’t.
Neither does the bluesy, heartbreaking Rihanna tune blaring through the soundsystem.
Viv’s motto is “fuck ’til you forget,” but I don’t think I have that in me. I feel men’s eyes on me, and it makes my skincrawl.
I toss back the rest of the mojito before leaning over the bar to order another and reluctantly rejoin Viv’s table.At least I’m not the designateddriver.
As the night wears on, the alcohol spreads through me until the smile on my face is more genuine. Until I’m not totally faking it. Until that ache I felt when I realized Ethan had a date with another woman ebbs away alittle.
When I’m wondering how many more drinks it’ll take before my lips go numb, Viv links her arm through mine. “Time todance!”
I let her drag me to the back of the bar and down a dark corridor that opens up to a cavernous room where the club lights are low and the music thumps my internalorgans.
Viv wraps me in a hug. “I’ve missed you!” she screams in my ear to be heard over themusic.
“Missed you too! I’m so glad Kat had your number.”Am I ever.“She saved it the last time I got locked out of thedorms.”
Viv laughs. “Weren’t you in a t-shirt andunderwear?”
I shrug. “It covered my ass.”Mostly.
She can’t criticize me for that lapse in judgment. Her antics usually exceed mineexponentially.
We dance until we’re sweaty and I’m loose-limbed, but when a remix of Twenty One Pilots’ song “Stressed Out” blares though the speakers, it hits me all at once. How sad it is that I got through almost four years of college but didn’t finish. That I’m a twenty-three-year-old babysitter. That the guy I’m working for was probably only hitting on me because I wasconvenient.
Oh, God. I’ve turned into one of those depresseddrunks.
After trading in my mojito for ice water, I try to shake off this persistent funk, but it settles like a fog, thick and suffocating.How much have I had todrink?
Sticky bodies bump into us, and I’m ready to walk back to Viv’s condo alone if she’s not ready togo.
I turn, and almost run head first into some preppy-looking guy. He smiles, and I try to return it, but my face doesn’t want tocomply.
I glance around and realize Viv and I must’ve migrated away from each other during the last song because she’s talking to someone several feetaway.
Preppy leans into me. “Dance with me, prettygirl.”
My first impulse is to decline, but then I remember how easy it was for Ethan to go out with another woman. “Sure.”
My new friend is handsome. Tall with black hair and a cute smile that sadly does nothing forme.
Thankfully, my body moves to the music automatically, the driving rhythm animating my limbs when all I want to do is crawl into bed and veg out in mypajamas.
I’m already glistening with sweat, but I’m breathing hard by the time the beat breaks into a new song five minuteslater.
As I’m twisting my long hair back and out of my face, the guy movescloser.
“I’m David,” he yells as his hungry eyes take mein.
I take a step back, realizing I don’t want to go down this road. Ethan might not want me, but I’m not interested in hooking up with anyone else. Eighteen-year-old me would’ve been delighted to kiss away bad memories, but the college-dropout me is tired of thiscrap.
The club lights strobe, engulfing the room in darkness when they shift away. I scan the crowd for my friends, but I can’t make out more than bodies and longshadows.
“Thanks for the dance, but I have togo.”
“Wait! I thought we were havingfun.”
He wraps his hand around my wrist, and I shake my head. “Sorry. Ican’t.”
