Ethan has a spacious house, but it has limitations. Where’s Beverly supposed to sleep? With Mila, the human octopus? Beverly should have my room. I could sleep on the couch or on the floor in the sewing room, but I can’t bring myself to suggestit.
The idea of sleeping on the floor reeks of desperation, and that embarrasses me. Nothing used to embarrass me, but I’m starting to think it’s because I didn’t knowbetter.
In any case, I’m not shacking up with Ethan while his mom ishere.
He doesn’t say anything, and I shift in myseat.
“Look, Ethan, I know you can’t afford me, and since your mom is home, I figured you’d want to save themoney.”
When I was in here cleaning his office, I caught a glimpse of his bank statements and bills, including the one from his attorney, which almost made me lose my lunch. No wonder the man is stressed out. I may not have much to my name, but I don’t have nearly the overhead that hedoes.
He motions behind me. “Close the door and comehere.”
My eyes widen. “What?”
“You heardme.”
It takes a second to un-freeze, and I make sure the hallway is empty before I close the door. As I stride toward him, I shake my head. “I’m not having sex with you when your mom in the otherroom.”
That’s another reason I need to go. I can see it now, Ethan sneaking into my room, his mother hearing us, me dying of embarrassment. I want his mom to like me, and she won’t if she hears me riding her son into oblivion. It’s a small miracle we haven’t traumatized the kids with our nighttimeactivities.
But when I reach his side of the desk, he tugs me into his lap and gives me a slow, sweet kiss. “Don’t want you togo.”
His voice makes me shiver. It’s almost enough to overshadow the throb on my hip from the giant bruise I got this morning when I wiped out on thebutter.
I almost say it. Almost tell him I love him. It’s right there on my lips, but something holds meback.
Ask me tostay.
I run my finger along the A&M logo on his t-shirt. “I don’t want to go either, but I think the writing’s on the wall.” My eyes sting, the reality of what I’m doing hitting sharp and deep, like I’ve impaled myself, but the momentum is gaining ground, and I can’tstop.
“Kat needs help, and you don’t,” I choke out. Doesn’t he see I’m obviously sucking at my job? First Mila burns her hand, and then the kids run wild with the butter, right under my nose? What if something worse had happened? I wouldn’t be able to live with myself if the kids got hurt because I wasdistracted.
In the silence, I start to chicken out when the reality of what I’m doing sinks in. Because I don’t want to go. If I give him space, will Allison dig her claws deeper? Will that client he had this morning get a shot with him? Will he question why he’s withme?
My heart is pounding. Can he feel it? I swallow and wait for him to saysomething.
Tell me tostay.
As your girlfriend, not as anemployee.
Tell me you loveme.
Hedoesn’t.
A big, calloused hand cups my face. “Is this about last night?” He sighs. “I wanted to talk about that.I…”
Driving up to the ranch while he and Allison argued on the porch feels like a lifetimeago.
I shake my head. “No.” I sniffle. “Not really.” Though it is about how he probably needs time to figure out what he wants. It might not beme.
Don’t fucking cry,Tori.
In the hallway, the thump of children’s feet tells me we’re out oftime.
“You’re still my girl, right?” He tilts my chin up, so I have to look athim.
Even through my tears, his stormy blue eyes captivateme.
