I just hope he’s not upset with me when I tell him I can’t keep doingthis.
Forty-five minutes later,Logan strolls through the door of the Lone Star, pausing briefly to flirt with one of the waitresses, before sliding into our booth. Cody is asleep in my arms, his ice cream melted into a puddle in his bowl, and Mila clings to my other side, stressed out from watching her parentsargue.
“Hey, little darlins,” Logandrawls.
I’m too tired to do more than lift myhand.
I don’t ask why he’s here and Ethan’s not, but something about that pisses me off more than being in the middle of everything. But damn it, it hurts to hear Mila cry over her parents and how she’s worried they’re mad at her. Just thinking about it makes my eyes sting and my belly burn withfrustration.
I want to protect these kids, but they’re not mine to protect. I want to protect Ethan, but sometimes he doesn’t feel like he’s mine either. Like on that porch earlier this evening, I had zero control aboutanything.
And really, who am I to have any say here? I’m the nanny. Not theirmom.
Logan taps a finger on his cell. “Heard you guys had a rough time at the ranch. I’m supposed to bring you home as soon as I get atext.”
The meaning is clear. When Allison is gone, we canreturn.
She’s still there?Jealousy tears through me at the thought of her being alone withEthan.
Get used to it, genius. You did suggest they remain a team for the sake of the ranch. Plus, it was her housefirst.
Fuck me sideways, thissucks.
My emotions must be clear as day because Logan gives me a sympathetic smile. I hate that look. I know it well. It’s the one all my friends gave me when they found out I’d been unknowingly dating a married man. “This will all work out. I know mybrother.”
I nod, fear making me wonder,Work out forwhom?
His phone vibrates, and he smiles as if this is proof of our impendinghappiness.
But I have a bad feeling about this. All ofthis.
Logan scoops up Cody, and I help him get the kids situated in his truck before I follow them back to theranch.
The familiar sounds of baseball make me smile when we walk through the front door, but my sprig of optimism is quicklydashed.
Ethan is sound asleep on the couch. In front of him is an open bottle of wine and twoglasses.
Ethan drinksbeer.
I look at Logan, but he just shrugs and helps me carry the kids to bed. He does me a favor and doesn’t try to bullshit me and try to make me feel better, and I don’t bother to pretend I’m in a goodmood.
When the kids are asleep, I go to my room and close my door, hoping to have some perspective in the morning. Because right now, I don’t have a good perspective. Not atall.
45
Ethan
Ahard kickto my leg jars meawake.
“What the fuck?” I snarl at my brother, who’s hovering over me with an eat-shit-and-dieexpression.
My heart races from the shock to my system, and I realize I’ve been dozing in the living room. The game is over, and it’s dark outside.Shit.
“How long have I been out?” My throat feels like a dusty Texas road after a heat wave. Rubbing the sleep out of my eyes, I try to shake myself out of thislethargy.
“Longenough.”
“Where are thekids?”
