I don’t know what to do. I feel so helpless.
When I finally get to my feet and teeter over to grab my phone, I realize Elisa’s still on the other end. “You didn’t hang up?” I croak, running the water. I swish and spit some out.
“I heard you puking. Are you okay?”
“Fine. You know me. Tough as nails.”
She sounds concerned. “You don’t have to be, you know. You’re going through a lot. Some people tried to kill you, and there’s your marriage, and now Tommy?—”
“I’m fine, Elisa, I promise.” I hesitate, glancing at myself in the mirror.I’m definitely not fine. “Listen, I’ve been thinking. You know, about my plan.”
She’s quiet for a moment. When she speaks, her voice is very soft. “You still want to run away?”
“I’m going no matter what, but I need you to come too. They’ll try to marry you off next. You know that, right? I won’t let that happen to you.”
“Fio, this is crazy. Dad will just hunt us down.”
“Dad’s dying,” I snap at her and instantly regret it. I can picture her face cringing in sadness. “Sorry. I shouldn’t have said that.It’s just, Dad’s going to be gone. Raf will be in charge, and he loves us, but?—”
“Raf’s not Dad,” she whispers.
“Dad babies you. He always has. But Raf won’t.” I don’t mention Dad using Elisa to blackmail me into this little marriage. “Give me a few more weeks. Maybe a month tops. Then we’re out of here.”
“This is crazy.”
“I know. I’ll come up with specifics. But we can do this, okay? We don’t have to live like this anymore.” I look at the bed again. At the rumpled half where Luca was sleeping. Where his warm, gorgeous body was the night before, as I was lying there listening to his slow, steady breathing.
“We’ll talk about it later. I should go.”
“Yeah, okay.”
“You’re sure you’re okay though? The whole puking thing?”
“Just stress. Honestly, I’m fine.”
“You’re such a shitty liar.”
“Love you.”
“You too.”
We hang up. I splash water in my face. I have no clue why I got so sick, but it seems to have passed at least. I close my eyes and can feel Luca’s hands on my body, his hard cock like iron against my back, the soft grunts of pleasure as he made me come, the dripping need in his eyes as he watched me lick my own pussy from his fingers.
Why did I have to marry a man like him?
Pleasure one second. Pain the next.
Last night was a mistake. The safety I felt with him was just an illusion. I know Luca, and he’s as bad as they all are.
I won’t screw up again.
I’mbored off my tits by noon.
Elisa’s good at lounging. She can throw on super soft sweats and a big sweatshirt and play video games all day. I once watched her read a book—an actual physical book—for like ten hours straight.
I can sit still for ten minutes, tops.
That’s why I spend so much time in the garage. I can lose myself in the physical work of fixing up the Spider. I dumped so many hours into cars over the years, learning the hard way how they worked. Dad’s guys helped out and taught me some stuff, but mostly I kept to myself. I wanted to fail. That made the successes so much sweeter.
