What’s the point of freedom if it doesn’t get me anywhere?
I have a purpose now.
And that’s so much better than some shallow idea of freedom.
Eventually, I turn around and head back into the city. I sit in traffic for a while but eventually take an early exit. Going slow and hitting a dozen stop signs is better than sitting in a line of cars. I think of it like taking the scenic route, and by the time I get close to the house, I’m ready to park and get the hell out of here.
It’s bittersweet, pulling back into the tent. I feel myself releasing an old dream and letting it drift away. But I’m also embracing something new. A better future. One I didn’t even know I wanteduntil Luca. Now maybe my life doesn’t look the way I wanted, and it never will, but that’s a good thing.
I park the car and kill the engine. It’s later than I expected, sometime just after dark. The twilight’s thick and I’m wondering what Luca’s up to. I’m thinking about having dinner, about curling up on the couch, maybe sitting in his lap and kissing him, when there’s the sound of a crack like a firework and a blood-curdling human scream.
My heart starts racing. I sit, unmoving, paralyzed. Another explosion, like someone’s shooting off more fireworks, and I realize they’re gunshots. There’s more yelling, frenzied and terrified, and I catch movement outside the tent’s front flaps. Men running nearby, men with guns.
I get out of the car, heart hammering. What am I going to do? I’m trapped outside, totally exposed. This stupid tent isn’t exactly keeping anyone out. I peer through the crack in the front flaps and back away, stumbling, nearly falling on my ass.
Men are coming toward me. Men in black tactical gear and wearing black masks painted with vicious skulls. Each one carries a rifle like something straight from a war video.
No time to freeze. I turn and start toward the back, but this alley’s a dead end. If I try to run, those guys are going to spot me. I need a place to hide, and I need to do it fast.
I turn to the Spider. I don’t even know why. I throw open the door, thinking about cramming down under the seat, but I won’t fit. Instead, I slam the trunk release, close the door, and run around to the back.
I stare inside.
It’s dark and crammed. My heart races and I feel like I’m going to throw up. The trunk is my best bet.
I can’t go inside of there. I just can’t.
I’m terrified of tight spaces, and I’ll barely fit inside.
There are more gunshots. Suddenly, light streams in through the front of the tent, and I realize there are holes straight across it.Oh, god, they’re bullets. I stare down into the trunk and gag, thinking about how horrible it was the last time I was trapped.
But I can’t let myself get killed. I put a hand over my belly. I’m not alone anymore. I’m not fighting for myself. There’s this baby and there’s Luca, and there’s the family I want to build for him.
It’s everything that’s keeping me here. It’s the new, better dream. If I don’t get in that trunk, I might lose it all again.
With a moan of pure terror, I climb inside. I’m shaking violently and sobbing, but I cram myself down, folding my body uncomfortably to fit the crazy tight space. If I still had the spare tire in here, there’s no way I’d fit. I reach to grab the trunk, lightly pulling it shut with a soft click, and suddenly, the world’s plunged into blackness.
The noise outside is muted. I feel like I’m at the bottom of a swimming pool. Tears stream down my face, but I have to be quiet. The whole point of being back here is to hide. If they hear me crying, I’m fucked, and this will have been for nothing.
I’m so fucking scared I can’t stand it.
I concentrate on Luca’s face. I picture what he’d say to me.Stay strong, Fiorella. Stay strong for me and the baby. It’s kind of fucking stupid, but it works. I curl in tighter, hands into fists,toes curled, and I close my eyes while the banging and shooting go on for what feels like forever.
There are screams. Terrible, inhuman screams of pain and agony. Once it sounds like someone runs past the Spider. I bite my lip hard enough to hurt. Then all at once, the shooting stops, and quiet takes over.
I don’t know how long I stay in the trunk.
I hate it in here. I hate it so much. I remember how horrible it was after a few days, how my head felt like it was going to crack in half and I couldn’t think clearly. I was so sure I was going to die. And I might die here, trapped inside this stupid car. It was supposed to be my freedom. Instead, it’s my freaking casket.
Elisa has to know I’m here. At least, she knew I was taking the car out, and she would’ve told everyone else. I wish I had waited for Luca or let one of the guards come along with me, but there’s nothing I can do.
Quiet and blackness. For what feels like forever.
Until…
Voices. Nearby. They’re talking quietly but urgently. I don’t say anything at first because a part of me is terrified it might be those men in the skull masks.
Until I recognize Luca.
