“It’s in the past for you, Jagger, but you forget that I didn’t know the truth until just now.”
“Does it make any difference. I mean, you fell in love with someone else, and now it’s over. All of it. The only reason why I told you now is because you asked. After all these years, you finally asked for the truth. I would have given it to you a thousand times, but you didn’t want to hear it. It was easier for you to move on than it was to deal with the truth.”
“Is that why you won’t hire me? Vengeance?”
“No, that’s not the reason.” He says, removing his hand.
I look over at him, wiping my eyes again. “Then why?”
He licks his lips. “Okay, just for the record, remember thatyouasked.”
“Fair enough.”
He swallows and looks at me. “The only thing I ever loved as much as I loved you is my work. You come and work for me and that turns to shit, for whatever reason, well...I’m not quite sure how I’d take that.”
“You’d take that just like you take everything else, Jagger. Life is like that. But I can tell you that I put everything into my work, too. And the time that I spent hovering over that engine with you today reminded me of how much I love what I do, too. And I haven’t had that pleasure in a long time.” I want to add that I haven’t had many pleasures in a long time, but I leave that part out. “I don’t believe that you’re going to find anyone else quite as dedicated to the work as I am. I’m not just tooting my own horn there, either. You know that this is in my blood. It’s part of my D.N.A.”
With another swallow, he pats me on the knee. “Okay, then.”
I’m confused. He rises and walks towards the door. “Okay then?”
He purses his lips together and looks at the floor, and then his gaze meets mine for a moment, before he draws in a deep breath and releases it. “You can start tomorrow. I’ll put you on a probationary period. I want you to sign an N.D.A., and I don’t want you breathing a word of this to the media. You share anything with Boston or with anyone without signed consent from me and I’ll sue your ass so bad you’ll be in jail for ten years or buried in paperwork for that long. I’ll end you or anyone else that tries to break what I have. You got it?”
My eyes widen as he speaks. He loves his business, and he’ll do anything to protect it. Why that turns me on, I don’t know, but it does. He’s the only other person I know with such passion and dedication to what they do as I do. I fully respect him for that. In fact, my admiration just grew for him. He’s a man of integrity and hasn’t changed. "You got it, Jagger.”
“And you get a signing bonus if you bring Jinny, too. But she’s got the same red tape as you, okay? And you can tell her that.”
“I’ll tell her.”
“Good. I’ll see you in the morning.”
“Yes. You will.” I smile.
He doesn’t smile, but if I know him like I think I still know him, he’s smiling on the inside. He opens the door and I stand there, watching him walk to his car. I close the door and rest my forehead on it. The tears pour down my face uncontrollably. My chest heaves with emotion. I haven’t cried this hard since my baby cat Charles died when I was a kid. I stand there, weeping against the door like a baby. And nothing can stop me....except one thing...
Jagger
I’m not stupid. I know that was a huge blow. She didn’t see that coming at all. Not the truth about the past, not the hiring her on the spot, nothing. Bowie is alone and has been to hell and back, and something in my stomach is telling me to go back and knock on the door. So I do. As I approach it, I can already hear the strange noises, and I realize that she’s bawling her fucking eyes out on the other side of the door. My heart breaks. I tap on the door and it stops for a moment. She knows that it’s me. It can only be me, otherwise the security would have tipped her off. As she opens the door, I see her face covered in tears.
I swallow, looking at her like she’s a lost fucking puppy, and I fold. As I open my arms, feeling my own eyes prick with unshed fucking tears, I pull her to me, holding her tight. Hey, I’m not a fucking heartless prick, okay? We have a long history together. She was my first and last love, and when someone you care about, whether it was once upon a time or now, or both, if you’ve got any shred of remorse or care in your body, you’re there for them. While she whimpers in my arms, I find my grip on her getting stronger and stronger, as my arms snake around her body.
Goddammit, it feels so good to hold her again. It’s just like it was. Her body fits in mine like a glove. As she cries softly in my ear, I want so badly to kiss her hair, like I used to. To kiss her soft cheek. To comfort her more than I am right now. But just being held seems to help. “It’s okay, Bowie. Everything is going to be okay.” I murmur in her ear, wrapping my fingers around her stray curls, caressing her body, swaying slightly from side to side.
“I’m so sorry.” She breathes into my ear. “I wish I could take it back.”
“I wish I could, too. But we can’t, sweetheart.”
She nods numbly, still holding me close. I tuck my head into her neck once more, drawing in a deep breath, smelling her hair, drinking her in. But I know that I can’t feel for her what I want to feel. We can’t work together if that happens, nor do I think she’d ever be ready for that, or that we can ever go back to what we once had. That would be impossible. That would be unhealthy. That would also be dead wrong, after all that’s happened in the time between. So I resolve myself to what we have now. A professional friendship, if you will. And that all depends on how things go starting tomorrow.
My mom always tells me that when someone need a hug, you let them be the one to pull back first, and this time is no exception. Bowie finally pulls back, and it breaks my heart to see her like this. She may come off all tough and ready to take over the world, but there’s a world of hurt inside there. “I’m sorry for what he put you through, Bowie. Truly, I am.”
With that, she kisses my forehead. “You haven’t changed a bit, Jagger. You’re still the sweetest man I know. Always will be.”
I go for cute, snapping my fingers. “Aw, shucks, ma’am.”
That gets a chuckle. “And you always knew when to make me laugh and when to let me cry.”
“Honey, timing is everything. It’s a hard lesson to learn, but when you learn it, it sticks.”
