He grins. “No worries. I knocked out too, woke up early this morning. You didn’t even move. Here.” He hands me a cup of coffee.
“Thanks.”
“You’re welcome.”
I take a sip and Everett watches me. “So ...”
“So ...” he says with a grin.
“So, it’s tomorrow.” Not that I needed to say that since I’m pretty sure we both know what day it is.
“It is, and do you feel any better after sleeping?” Everett asks as he takes a sip of his coffee.
“Not really, but I can do this, right? I mean, I’m going to be a mom, and that means doing whatever needs to be done, and I’ll ... do that.”
“You really don’t have to right now. You have months to figure things out,” he says, sitting beside me. “Take that time and figure out things day by day.”
I know he’s right. I don’t have to make all these decisions now. I have time, and besides, I can’t make any choices when I don’t know what Dylan’s role is going to be.
As much as I hate him for all he’s done to me, I could never use the baby against him.
If he does want to be around, though, it means I have to move back to California. I could try to stay in Ember Falls, but what does that look like with shared custody? The baby will need to travel across the country to see him? Doing that doesn’t make much sense and isn’t sustainable long term, but I’m getting ahead of myself. For all I know, he’ll do what I expect him to do, which is keep the baby a secret and not have anything to do with it.
His fiancée is never going to want this.
She’s all about her social media–worthy lifestyle, and the only baby she’d want around is her own.
At least . . . I think.
“It’s just the unknown is terrifying,” I say to him, staring down into my coffee.
“The girl I knew wasn’t afraid of anything,” Everett reminds me.
“She had no understanding of consequences.”
“Nah, she knew, but if it was something important, she’d battle. Find that girl, Vi. She’s still inside of you. You just have to bring her out.”
I wish it were that simple.
“There are just so many variables to think about, but you’re right. I have to battle them all, for me and the baby.”
He grins. “There she is. You are stronger than you give yourself credit for.”
“And if I’m not? What do I have then, Everett? I’m going to be a single mother regardless. I’m going to be alone through it all. Dylan isn’t going to come here, and I’m not going back there right now. Not until the divorce is final and I can have some sort of foundation.”
He reaches his hand around me, rubbing my back. “Then take this time to figure out whatyouwant.”
I wanted whatever this was that we were doing. I wanted to let go of the parts of my past that were hurting me and hold on to the things that brought me joy. Now they’re mixing up in all the wrong ways.
“What if I can’t have what I want?”
“None of us ever do. I wanted a lot of things that will never be possible. My mother’s mind may never heal, and the doctors don’t think it ever will. I wanted to move out of Ember Falls, but I will never do that to Mom. She can’t move. She can’t even get in a car. The doctors come here, and if I have to take her, we have to heavily medicate her, and it takes three of us to handle her.”
“She can’t go in a car?” I ask.
“She can’t handle the idea of a car. It was the most traumatic experience she’s ever faced. Bringing her home from the hospital was a nightmare, and she made me promise to never make her do it again.”
“I’m so sorry,” I say, resting my hand on his.
