Violet looks to me, tears in her eyes. “That’s the baby?”
I nod. “That’s the baby.”
She turns to the doctor. “It’s so fast.”
“It is, but this is actually a good heart rate for a baby. Your pregnancy looks normal and healthy.”
Violet looks to me, and I lean in to kiss her. There aren’t words for this moment. Nothing I can say to explain the myriad of emotions that are moving through me. Love for the woman lying in the bed. Joy for the strong heartbeat that echoes in the room. Fear of losing her or the baby at some point. All of it swirls inside me, warring on which will win.
Ultimately, it’s joy.
Right now, in this moment, I’m with the woman I’ve always loved, and I’m hearing her baby’s heartbeat.
I know that our future is unsure, but I am not willing to let her go. If she has to go back to California, then I’ll follow. Somehow. Some way, I’ll find a way to be with her and the baby.
“I’ll let you get dressed, and I’ll see you in a week for your next appointment, okay?” Dr. Cowles says, and then the room is back to quiet.
“Thank you, Dr. Cowles,” Violet says.
“Anytime.”
She heads out of the room, and Violet and I stare at each other for a second before she starts to cry. “I have never felt like this. The whole time on the way here, I kept thinking ... maybe this is good. Maybe I shouldn’t have this baby because it’s ... his. Then I hated myself for thinking it, and I was so afraid I would lose him or her. I was so conflicted until I looked into your eyes.”
I brush her tears away. “Mine?”
Violet sniffles. “You were so worried. I watched you drive like a maniac to get me here, telling me it would be okay. Just now, when you heard the heartbeat, you were mesmerized, and I knew that my heart and my head found its meeting point. I want you, Everett. Whatever we can have for as long as we can have it. No more pushing you away, I don’t want to do it anymore.”
I kiss her nose. “Good, because I was done letting you, and just know that I’ll do everything to keep you safe.”
No matter the cost.
twenty-six
Violet
Iwake up, feeling like I’ve been hit by a bus. Although I’m not really sure what that feels like, I imagine it’s like this.
I’m tired, achy, and dazed.
I stretch and climb out of bed. We got back late last night, and Everett carried me up to my bed and tucked me in like I was a child.
He unfortunately had to go back to his house, check on his mom, and be up super early this morning.
Last night was the scariest one I’ve ever had. I was so worried when I saw blood, so afraid that while this pregnancy wasn’t planned, I was going to lose my baby. Thankfully, that didn’t happen, and, instead, Everett and I got to share a beautiful moment together.
We heard the baby’s heartbeat.
I take a quick shower, get dressed, and then look at the clock. Oh my God, it’s noon.
I can’t remember the last time I slept this late.
My stomach rumbles, and while the idea of eating isn’t all that appealing, I know I need something.
“Violet?” I hear Everett’s voice and then a pounding on the door. Quickly I head down the stairs and pull the door open,revealing a very sexy Everett, who is holding a bouquet of roses, leaning against the door with a grin. “What? I don’t get anyEverett, Everett, wherefore art thou, Everett?”
I snort a laugh. “Oh,nowyou want to be compared to Romeo?”
“Juliet did die for him.”
