I have this overwhelming feeling that this could be the most crucial moment of my life, that whatever happens now could change everything.
“Cody, we need to leave before he realizes we’re onto him.” I’m begging now, I don’t think I’ve ever been more desperate for anything in my life. What he says next could determine my entire future, if I’m ever able to be happy again.
He still won’t meet my gaze as he finally murmurs, “I can’t leave.”
My whole body freezes in response to his refusal. The pain in my chest is unlike anything I’ve ever felt as my heart completely shatters. The pieces pierce through my lungs, making it impossible to breathe.
This is it then. It doesn’t matter that we love each other. Love isn’t enough. Just like that, it’s over.
I’d really started to believe we would make it, to hope.
I never wanted a happily ever after with someone until I met Cody. But now, knowing what it’s like to behis, I’m ruined. There will never be anyone else.
What the fuck am I supposed to do?
CHAPTERTWENTY-FOUR
Cody
“Ican’t leave,” I admit, afraid to look at Beck and see the disappointment no doubt written all over his face.
“Cody…” he chokes out on a sob, and when I finally look up, the heartbreak on his face guts me.
“Wait,” I rush to explain because he doesn’t understand, he can’t when he doesn’t know everything. I grip his hands back tightly, afraid that he’ll let go, and force myself to hold his gaze. “Beck, I don’t mean that I don’t want to go or that I don’t believe you,” I clarify. “I mean that I literally cannot leave.”
“What do you mean?” he pleads, obviously desperate for me to explain. There’s hope shining in his eyes now, despite the confused expression that’s replaced his previous anguish.
“I think you’re right,” I admit. As much as I really, really don’t want to believe him, I’d be lying if I said his claims don’t seem true.
I don’t want to believe that Viktor, someone I thought was my friend, has been manipulating and abusing my trust this entire time.
But… is he really my friend? Are any of the people here?
They don’t treat me like Beck’s friends treat him, or hell, even how Beck’s friends treat me. Nick is the only person here who ever really seemed to care aboutmeand not my position in the company.
Viktor has never asked me why I wanted Beck here. He doesn’t care that I love him. It’s always been about how Beck could help the company.
I’ve been noticing more and more things around here that have feltoffsince meeting Beck a few months ago. And now, when he spells out the reality of everything—I can’t deny his accusation. He doesn’t even know the full extent.
It took me nearly thirty years to realize I’m attracted to men. I guess it makes sense that it’s taken me almost ten to realize I’ve been in a cult.
“But Beck, I can’t just leave. There’s a lot you don’t know,” I explain. “When we move here, as a part of ‘proving our commitment and dedication to Kyla’,”—I say with air quotes—“we have to give Viktor proof of that dedication.”
“What kind of proof?”
“A notarized secret. Something so personal that we’d never want it to be public knowledge. It had to be submitted to him so that if we ever betray the company, it’ll be released,” I say. Hearing it now, I feel so stupid for going along with it.
“Viktor downplayed its importance,” I continue. “He explained that everyone does it, and it’s never been needed. He said that he’s the only one with the information, so it’s safe.” I feel even more idiotic as I go on. “I was fresh out of college when I started with the company. I had no reason to think that I’d ever betray it, and they made Linna sound so amazing. I was so excited to move here,” I add.
“Hey,” Beck interrupts, cupping my face. “Don’t do that. Don’t beat yourself up over any of this,” he says with such conviction that, despite myself, I do feel a bit better. “Cody, there are over ten thousand people in this city being manipulated by this man, clearly, he’s good at what he's doing. None of this is your fault.”
I give a small nod. He’s right, of course. Feeling bad or guilty about this isn’t going to fix anything right now.
“He also has access to all of my bank accounts and credit cards,” I confess. “I can’t go anywhere without him knowing. I can’t even withdraw large sums of money without Viktor’s pre-approval with the bank,” I explain. “So, I literally can’t leave. If it were as simple as choosing Kyla or you, it wouldn’t be a decision. I’ve already chosen you, Beck. I just don’t knowhowto leave. I’d have no money, and he’d release my secret. I don’t know if I’m ready to deal with the fallout of that,” I admit weakly.
“Cody, you wouldn’t need money. You could come live with me,” Beck answers softly. “I’ve loved us sharing your house this week, but if you’re not ready to officially live with me, then we can get you an apartment or something,” he adds when he sees the hesitation still in my expression.
“Beck, I’d love to live with you,” I chuckle. “But how can I let you pay for everything like that? We’ve only been officially dating for a week.”
