“I really doubt that,” I say as I try to focus back on the conversation, and Nick gives me an indulgent grin. “Anywaaay,” I say, drawing out the word, hoping to move on. “I haven’t been able to stop thinking about this guy,” I admit.
“When will you see him again?” Nick asks excitedly.
“That’s the problem.” I slouch in my seat, throwing my head back with a frustrated groan. “He’s super busy with his job until the hockey team he works for is done for the season, but we don’t know when that will be because they made the playoffs,” I explain.
“Bad timing.”
“Luckily, I’ll be back in Chicago for a couple of days soon, but even then, I’ll see him for maybe a few hours,” I continue. “At least he has a lot of money, and his family is well known, so Viktor was eager to meet him in Florida. I’ve already talked to him about having Beck come here over the summer and started the visitor approval process with Kyla.”
“Smart,” Nick agrees, nodding. “What about video calls?”
“Oh yeah, we video call all the time. We both like to have it up while we’re working or doing stuff around the house so that we can spend time hanging out.”
“I meant like naked video calls,” he clarifies with a laugh, and I feel my cheeks heating.
“No, not those kinds of calls,” I say as I let out a nervous chuckle.
“Well, you should, especially if you’re not seeing other people while you talk to him.”
“I’m not, but I guess I don’t know if he is,” I admit as I realize I really don’t want him to see anyone else. Just thinking about the possibility makes me angry,and I’m never angry.
“Sounds like you need to talk to your man,” Nick points out unhelpfully, and I grunt in agreement.
* * *
I should probably be goingto bed since I have an early yoga class in the morning and could really use the sleep. Instead, I’m lying in bed with a bottle of lube, some tissues, and my laptop open to a porn site, feeling like a nervous teenager.
Since my weekend in Florida with Beck, I’ve been jerking off to the memories of us together at least daily. But now that I know I’ll see him soon, combined with my conversation earlier about sexy video calls, I can’t stop fantasizing about what else Beck and I could explore in the bedroom.
And I realized today that my fantasies about sex with another man are seriously lacking. I know porn isn’t exactly a reliable source for realistic expectations—not that I have anything against it or the people in the industry. But I’m a visual learner, and surely the positions have to be somewhat accurate.
Why am I so nervous?
To ease into it, I search for a couple I’ve liked to watch in the past. It’s a man and a woman who are together in real life. I’ve always preferred it when there’s an actual connection between the actors. I try to watch like I usually would to see where my eyes land, and it doesn’t take long to acknowledge I’m definitely watching the man just as much as the woman. I notice his muscles and his swollen cock, and realize these are details I’ve paid attention to in their other videos.
Interesting. Definitely attracted to both people.
If there was ever a question about whether I’m bi or just into Beck, my growing erection while thinking about the man on my screen has erased it.
Feeling a bit more confident, I decide to search for what I logged on intending to watch, so I go back to the category selection and click ongay. I’m not sure what to look for, so I scroll, noticing a wide variety of body types and titles—some of which honestly intimidate me.
Finally, I stumbled across a video labeled “Real Life Couple, Frotting and Anal.”
Not sure what “frotting” means, but in the still image of the video, one of the guys has dark shorter hair like Beck, so I click on it.
The video starts with them making out, and I can appreciate that they’re a real couple—their chemistry is obvious, and they look completely at ease with each other.
My cock is definitely getting excited.
They’re standing naked beside a bed when the smaller of the two—the one who looks like a fake Beck—takes his hand and lines up both of their erections, wrapping them together in his grip as they thrust up into it.
My cock twitches, very intrigued by this new-to-me position that I’m guessing might befrotting.
What else have I been missing out on by limiting my sexual experiences to women?
On the screen, the larger man pulls away and crawls onto the bed with his plump ass in the air, and the fake Beck crawls up behind him, massaging his cheeks before leaning in and licking his hole.
Damn, I’ve never even considered what that would feel like, but the sounds coming from the men make me think they’re both really enjoying it. I loved it when Beck teased my hole with his wet finger. I bet his tongue would feel amazing.
