The smile never left his face as he put it carefully between my lips, and the saccharine taste of it when I bit down was enough to make me sick.
I ended up eating half of the food on the plate before I had to beg Otto to stop, and when he stood, I grabbed his wrist. I’d fallen into an almost trancelike state under the weight of his stare, the delicate movement of his fingers, and the littlehmmsof approval that spilled from his throat when I opened my mouth.
My speaking sent splintered cracks along the serenity, and his moving broke it completely and reminded me that the room smelled likeblood.The contact of my skin against his made us both freeze; it felt like it was burning. Each point where my fingers touched him scorched all the way down, twisting and writhing and trying to tear me apart from the inside out.
I couldfeelhow much he hated me along every place we touched… but I still held on.
“Don’t hurt him any more because of me. I… I’m full. I can’t. I—”
His eyes narrowed as he twisted his hand, grabbing my wrist and yanking me onto my knees so my vision was suddenly swimming in a green sea of malice.
“Oh, Nikki. Everyone who gets hurt from here on out will be because of you. Do you understand? All of this is because of you. Everything Idois because of you.”
I was numb when he dropped me back to the bed, and silent as he picked up the tray and left the room.
All of this was because of me.
The man bleeding in the corner was bleeding because of me.
I wasn’t sure what I’d done to deserve this, but some part of me knew there was no way to get out of here.
No escape.
No hope.
Only the thought that tomorrow might be my day to bleed.
Chapter 4
Otto
Hewas…good.
Different.
Nicholas had watched dozens of people being tortured, and he’d never given up his pride to save them. He’d never evenblinked.And Marco… fuck, Marco had never been worth saving, but…
He didn’trememberthat. He didn’t remember the way our oldest brother had been more than happy to sell us out any time it would please his mother. Any time it would save him from being hurt.
And it was strange, but the soft, quiet expression that crossed his face when he finally gave himself over to letting me feed him was almost… peaceful. Like he’d given in to what was happening and his mind wanted him to understand that it wasgood. That it wasright.
Something inside me felt it too. I had to chalk it up to knowing that his willingness to give in to me taking care of him were lines of weakness I could use to break everything he was.
There was still a part of me that thought about putting the knife I held between his lips and twisting, but it was easy to keep that part at bay when London leaned forward and stuck his tongue out for me.
It made me think of other things—things I hadn’t intended to consider.
Moments I’d tried to forget.
The nights when Nicholas would sneak into my room and press his lips against my throat, whispering that we had to keep quiet so no one would know.
The nights I’d felt like a whole person…
I pushed myself up from my bed before I had a chance to think, and it wasn’t hard to make my way down the quiet, dimly lit hallways of the facility. I was sure I was on camera—Nathaniel West probably had some automation set up to alert him when people were moving around so he could watch from the comfort of his home and feel like God observing ants.
I didn’t care.
I wasn’t here for him.
