“She said they made fun of my eyes and my hair. Once, one of their friends suggested that I had a genetic abnormality.”
“What?”
I nodded. “He said that I must have gotten some crazy genes to look like I did. I have the transcript,” I added, when Levi started to argue. “Grant was always trying to fix me because he was embarrassed in front of his friends.”
“That can’t be true. No, no way.” He put his arm around my shoulders. “He couldn’t have felt that way because no one could. And I think the gene remark was supposed to be a compliment.”
“I’m not bothered by how I look,” I explained. “My mother was stunning and she considered it to be a burden. She wrote that my grandparents acted like her beauty was the only quality she had, the only thing that mattered about her, and then she described how it was hard for her to get the respect she deserved in her career. Everyone focused on her looks instead of her scholarship—at least, that was what she claimed. She also told me that I’d been lucky not to inherit it from her.”
“You did,” Levi said. “I don’t know what she looked like, but you’re beautiful. No, it’s not very important in the long run, but you should know that.”
“Beauty is like having a nice car. It’s great if you have it, but if you have something else that works for you, then who cares?” I asked. “Grant and his friends cared a lot, and they wereworried all the time. We were out on a boat in Lake Como and Vivienne was so upset about the wind ruining her hair and that her foundation looked powdery. It was an amazing experience and she missed it. I spent a lot of time making sure I looked ok for Grant, too, because he was very invested in appearances…I shouldn’t have done that. I should have told him to leave me alone.”
He frowned. “If you really don’t care, then I’m not going to argue and try to convince you. But just know that I think you’re pretty—no, more than pretty. You’re stunning and—”
“Levi, don’t,” I told him. “You wanted me to cover up in front of August.”
“What?”
“At his pool,” I said. “You got a towel for me to cover up.”
And then he looked angry. “I know him too well,” he said. “I knew how he was going to act with you and I didn’t think you needed that, not when you were so upset about Hernán leaving. I knew he would come onto you,” Levi continued, but I shook my head. “Yes, he would have and all the assholes in his crowd would have bothered you…and that would have bothered me,” he admitted. “I’m sorry.”
“Is that why you and August were arguing after that day?”
“He made a few remarks about you. Nothing offensive but he did it because he knew that it would piss me off, and I told him that we should have some distance for a while. I used slightly different wording.”
This was all a surprise to me. “I shouldn’t be an issue between you and your best friend.”
“You’re not, not anymore. Can I see a picture of your mom?”
“Uh, sure,” I said, and I took out my phone. I didn’t have any pictures of her, not that I had taken, and no one had taken any of me until I’d gotten around other adults. “Here, I found one from when she was in graduate school,” I told him. “She had won an award and they wrote it up in the student newspaper.” I passed over the phone and he studied the screen. “She didn’t change much as she got older, except when she was dead.”
“What? You mean, at her funeral?”
“I couldn’t afford a funeral and I don’t think she would have wanted one,” I answered. “She was a lot like me in how she couldn’t establish strong relationship bonds. When I saw her for the last time…I don’t…”
I stopped and we sat in silence.
Levi broke it. “Today has been stressful,” he said, and I nodded. He closed the picture on my phone and put his arm back around me. “What did you say was your third favorite movie?”
“Roman Holiday.”
“I’ve never seen it and I don’t want to sit here and worry about August. I need a distraction.”
“That’s a great idea,” I said, and it was even better when he pulled me tighter and I put my head down on his chest, next to Coral. She didn’t mind.
Chapter 13
“Holy—” Ava glanced over at the kitchen table, where I sat with two of her children, and stopped herself from finishing the thought. When she began again, I thought she had altered the original syntax. “Holy cow, no. No, I’m not using this,” she continued, and shook her head. “It’s awful.”
“What’s wrong with it?” Levi looked at the computer. “I had just gotten a haircut, which you like, and I’m wearing a shirt with a collar, your other favorite thing. Emerson, this is good, right?”
I told Elliott to try to fit another puzzle piece without me, and I went to see what they were arguing over on Ava’s laptop screen. “That picture looks like a mugshot, except without the lines for height painted in the background,” I said when I saw the image there. “After Hernán and I found it the first time, he looked for your arrest record.”
“What?” Levi started laughing. “This is the picture I got for my passport, from when I thought that Mary Evelyn and I were going to move out of the country for a job.”
“How did it get online?” I asked.
