“I think he sucks.”
“No, I wouldn’t have stayed with him for five years if he was really so bad. Five years,” I repeated. “Five years of my life.”
“Mary Evelyn and I were together for a while, too,” he said. “Ava keeps telling me to look at it as a learning experience, like we both figured out what we didn’t want in a partner. She figured out that she didn’t want a loser, and I figured out…”
“What?” I asked, when he didn’t continue.
“I figured out that I shouldn’t keep talking about my former relationship.”
“You said before that you didn’t want the same things as she did, that you didn’t want what your sisters have. Stability and all that.”
“No,” he corrected, “that wasn’t what I said. I knew that she…why in the hell am I still talking about her?”
“Where are we going?” I asked as we got on I-75.
“Since you believe that I’m a criminal—”
“Not totally,” I interrupted. “I don’t think you’re the kingpin, only some kind of bagman.”
“Whatever that means. I’m going to prove to you that I lead a regular, normal life by taking you to my apartment and displaying my work product.” He glanced over at me. “Are you all right?”
“I don’t like being in the left lane,” I said. My eyes were glued to the concrete barrier as it flashed past the driver’s side window.
“Damn, I’m sorry. I’ll move over to the right.” He did, and he slowed down. Then, at the next exit, he signaled and took the ramp off the freeway. “Ok, now you’re not holding your breath,” he pointed out. “You know, you can tell me if I’m doing something that you don’t like. You’ve never had a problem with saying things.”
“I’m trying not to feel that way anymore,” I explained. “I’m trying not to be fearful. I’m trying not to be the kind of woman who other people want to get away from, too.” Like, people might have avoided me for months and when they did see me, it would only be to say that I should disappear into the woods where I’d come from.
“Give me your hand.”
“What?” I asked.
“Your hand,” he repeated, and held his out, palm up so I could see all the calluses. “Put ‘er there.”
Carefully and uncomprehending, I placed my palm over his, and he closed his fingers.
“Feel that?”
“Yes. How could I miss it?” I asked.
“It means something. I’m here, right? I’m not telling you to go away.”
That was true. Despite the fact that he didn’t seem to be getting anything from me, he was still present.
“It also means that I’m not going to try to run away from you,” Levi told me.
“Well…”
“Well?” he prompted.
“That’s good,” I said, and he laughed. It was very good.
Chapter 6
“Sixth floor.”
“Oh.” I tilted my head to stare at the building and thought about that.
“There’s an elevator,” Levi said next, so I nodded.
