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“Not at all,” my mother says, laughing. “But Christmas will come, whether we’re ready or not.”

“And what doyouwant for Christmas, Mrs. Barrett?”

My mother smiles. “I just want to have a quiet day at home with our family.”

Shouting comes from behind the camera, and my father turns around to show Noah chasing Levi through the house. My father laughs. “I don’t know how quiet it will be.”

My mother hangs another ornament. “As long as we’re together. That’s all I want.”

The camera goes dark, the scene ending. The DVD stops, but I’m too stunned to stand up and change it. I don’t remember seeing this clip, and it makes my chest constrict.

Kiki puts her hand on mine. “Are you okay?” she asks softly.

“Yeah,” I choke out, but it’s a lie. I’m not okay. There’s an ache deep within me. My parents died so young. They were good people, and I would give anything to be able to see them just one more time.

She turns toward me and cups my face with her hands, her thumb catching a tear. I didn’t realize I was crying. “You must miss them so much.”

I nod. I can’t say anything. My throat is too tight.

“I’m so sorry. I shouldn’t have asked to see the videos.”

“No,” I manage to say. “It’s okay.”

She wraps her arms around me, pulling me to her. I bury my face in her shoulder. She holds me, and I feel like a little boy again, missing my mother and father. When I gain control, I pull back from her.

She gently kisses my nose. “You are so tender hearted.”

“Not very manly,” I say.

“Why not? Men can cry. It’s actually quite sexy.” She puts her arms around my neck and her fingers comb through my hair. It sends shivers through me. It feels so good to be this close to her, to feel her touch.

I open my mouth to tell her how she’s making me feel, but I quickly close it. I don’t know how she would take it. If I make one wrong move, she might freak out again. I’m afraid she’ll run away.

I pull her close, and she sits on my lap, her arms still around me. “Sexy, huh?” I say, being playful.

“Yeah.” She pulls me down and brushes her lips across mine.

I can’t resist her. My lips move over hers. She tastes sweet, like strawberries and cream. My heart soars that she’s no longerpulling away from me. A tone chimes. Noah’s texting me. I pull back. “Sorry, I should see what Noah wants.”

Kiki leans back. I pick up my phone and look at the text.

Did you forget you asked me to install hidden cameras in the house? There’s one in the kitchen and one in the family room.

I freeze. I forgot about that. My gaze travels over the room and I spot the camera on the shelf amid a row of books. I shoot him off a quick response.

Stop spying on me, bro. That’s sick.

I toss the phone on the couch. “Just a sec.” I slide Kiki off my lap and walk over to the shelf to turn the camera around.

I come back and pick up where I left off. My brother texts me a couple more times, but I ignore it. Kiki gives me a questioning look. “Do you need to get that?” she says against my mouth.

“No,” I say, and claim her lips again.

Kissing Kiki is like grabbing an electric fence. It’s risky and hot, but I can’t let go. I want her in my life. I want to tell her I think I’m falling in love with her, but I’m afraid it will make her pull away from me again, so I don’t. I try to show her how I feel with my tender kisses.

I don’t know if she will regret kissing me tomorrow, but I’ll do everything I can to let her know I accept her for who she is. She’s worth more to me than anything. I want her to feel loved and accepted, because I fear she’s never had that before, and that breaks my heart.

The next morningI wake up to someone knocking on my bedroom door. “Come in,” I say, my brain fuzzy with sleep.