CHAPTER 22
KIKI EMMERSON
Tobias stares at me as I try to reign in my emotions. “I mean, I didn’t kill anyone if that’s what you’re thinking,” I blurt out, then force a laugh.
“That’s not what I’m thinking,” he says softly.
I pull back my arm, covering my tattoo with my hand. “Anyway, speaking of death, I said if I told you I’d have to kill you. So, how do you want to die?”
He raises one eyebrow at me. “I get to choose?”
“Of course. I’m very fair. So, pick.” I look at him as I make the swing rock back and forth again.
He puts a finger on his chin and makes a show out of trying to decide. “I’ll take tickling to death.”
I bite my lips so I don’t laugh at him. “Wow, that’s such a terrible way to die.”
“Terrible? I thought it would be much less painful than being shot or stabbed.”
“Right, but tickling would take forever. It would be like torture. You’d probably die of starvation before the tickling would do any damage.”
“Ah, I see.”
I look out at the dark skyline, the moon reflecting off the water. “How did you get me to tell you about my tattoo? I wasn’t going to talk about it.”
He smiles. “I’m highly trained in the art of prying.”
“That’s not good,” I say under my breath.
Tobias turns serious. “I know you said you did things in the past you’re not proud of. But I don’t care about your past.”
I stare at him. I want to believe him with all my heart, but he doesn’t know what he’s saying. He would care if he found out the truth. I drop my gaze. “You don’t understand.”
He searches my face. “Do you trust me?”
“Trust should go both ways,” I say, mostly to myself. I’m not a trustworthy person.
“Are you saying I should trust you?” Tobias moves to put his hand on my knee but hesitates and then changes his mind. I feel the loss of his touch down to my toes.
“Heavens, no. Don’t do that. You’ll only be disappointed in the end.” I jump up, clutching my herbal tea, unable to stand the way he’s looking at me. I’m not a good person.
I take a step toward the back door, but Tobias stands and grabs my arm. “Wait.”
I turn to look at him. “What?”
He lets go of my arm, sighs, and runs his hand over his hair. “You seem to be really great at beating yourself up for your past mistakes. But I wonder if you’ve ever stopped to consider the value of forgiveness.”
Hot tears prick my eyes and my vision blurs. “The world doesn’t forgive, Tobias. Some mistakes haunt you. Some will always be there, reminding you forever of what you did.”
I don’t want to say too much, so I turn away from him and go into the house. I run up the stairs to my room and fling myself onto the bed, letting the tears come. My heart breaks for what I had to give up. My baby girl. As the memories flood through me, I close my eyes, wishing for the millionth time I’d made different choices in the past.
SIX YEARS AGO
I turn the wheel, pulling into the small grocery store parking lot. It’s a hot day for May, and we’ve got the windows down because the AC doesn’t work in my car. I turn to look at Randy, sitting in the passenger seat. He’s got a foot up on the dash, and he looks so cute with his long hair and retro Iron Maiden T-shirt.
We’ve been driving for two weeks now, since my parents disowned me and kicked me out. I pat my stomach. I don’t have a baby bump yet, but it’s coming. Even though it wasn’t planned, I’m still thrilled to be having a baby. And Randy said he’d take care of us. I’m pretty sure he’s going to propose soon. He’s been hinting at it. We can settle down and start a family.
Randy looks out the window. “What are we doing here?”