“All right,” I say, letting out a chuckle. “Maybe I phrased that wrong. What do you want to be when you grow up?”
She stares at the kitchen floor. “My goals aren’t anything special.”
“They don’t have to be special. My goals are to not spend all my parents’ money, and make sure my brothers don’t end up in jail.” I smile at my joke, but she just stands there, her face pale.
I nudge her shoulder. “If you could do anything, what would you do?”
The tea kettle lets us know it’s ready, and I grab it, pouring the hot water into the two mugs. Kiki grabs her mug and holds it in both hands, still not answering me. The silence turns awkward. I figure she doesn’t want to share, so I change the subject.
“Do you want to go sit outside?”
“Sure.”
I lead her to the back porch. She goes to the porch swing. “That’s so quaint.”
“Go ahead.” I motion for her to sit.
She sits, then pats the seat next to her. “You can sit here, if you want. I won’t bite.”
I sit down next to her, chuckling. “Isn’t that what grandpas say?”
“Maybe.” She laughs, and the awkwardness from earlier evaporates.
An awning spans above us with small white lights. It’s almost twilight. The tide is coming in, and the gentle lapping of the waves is relaxing. She leans back and stretches out her legs, making the swing rock. “This is nice.”
“I used to sit out here with Courtney.” I clench my jaw. Why did that come out of my mouth? What’s wrong with me?
“What happened between you, if you don’t mind me asking?” She gives me a side-eye glance as she sips her tea.
A breeze blows off the water and it feels nice. I look at my lap. “We were too young. We never should have gotten married. I thought I was ready. I’d already taken on the task of raising my brothers. I thought having a wife would mean having one more person on my team. But it wasn’t that way at all.”
She peers at me. “How so?”
I shake my head. “She wasn’t mature enough for all the responsibility.”
“Why did you adopt?”
I lift my gaze to her face. Had I told Kiki I adopted Skyler? I was pretty sure I hadn’t. Maybe one of my brothers mentioned it. That had to be it.
“Courtney wanted a little girl. She said there was too much testosterone in the house. She can’t have kids, so we turned to adoption. I thought it would bring us closer.”
Kiki leans forward, gripping the edge of the swing. “But that’s not what happened.”
“No. She liked playing dress up with Skyler, but she didn’t want any of the work. When Skyler was six months old, Courtney had a melt-down and left the island. Just took off. I had no idea where she was. I was only twenty-four years old. I was raising my brothers and had a six-month-old to care for.” My fingers tremble at the memory. I grip my mug tighter.
“That’s terrible. Did she come back?”
“She did, twelve days later.” I clench my jaw, remembering the way she looked walking in, like nothing had happened. “She came in and asked when dinner would be. I just stared at her. I’d been worried sick. I’d called the police and everything. I couldn’t believe she could do such a thing.”
“Wow.” Kiki took another sip of her tea.
“We got divorced four months later.” I stare down at the dark liquid in my mug, remembering how alone I felt. And scared. Skyler was so tiny and had no one to depend on but me. It was almost as bad as the time right after my parent’s died. Almost.
Kiki placed her hand on my leg. “That had to have been difficult.”
“Yes.” I look at her hand on my knee and I notice the makeup on her wrist. I motion to her hand, too curious about it to pretend I haven’t seen it anymore. “Why do you cover your tattoo with makeup?”
She jerks her hand to her chest and stares at me. “You can tell?”
