My heart warms. “That’s sweet.”
As we walk toward the lighthouse, giggles echo through the walls. I can’t help but smile.
“So, you didn’t go to college?” Tobias asks.
That familiar pang that I get in my chest when I think about how messed up my life is shoots through me. “Yeah.”
“Can I ask why not?”
I take in a deep breath. “A variety of reasons, but mostly because I was young and didn’t think school was important. Now that I’m older, I see how limited my opportunities are.” Especially with a criminal record.
“You’re not that old. You could still go to college.”
I try not to scoff at him. Besides the huge roadblock of the money involved I don’t even know if I could get into college. “Maybe,” I say to get myself out of that conversation.
“If you did, what would you study?”
I get a little annoyed that he’s asking me so many questions. I decide to turn it on him. “I don’t know. What did you study? Finance?”
We enter the lighthouse and start climbing the wooden stairs. “I actually didn’t get to go to college,” he says softly. “My parents died, and I couldn’t.”
“Oh.” Now I feel horrible for assuming and bringing up a painful subject.
The structure is about three or four stories tall, and it doesn’t take long for us to get to the top. I step out to the railing. Skyler runs to me and grabs my legs. I crouch down and lift her into my arms. I know she’s really too big to hold like this, but she feels good there. Like she belongs with me. She points out at the sea. “Kiki, do you see that big rock?”
“Yeah.”
“It’s called Seal Rock. If you look closely, it looks like a seal.”
I squint at it and can see it. “That’s cool.”
She wiggles and I set her down. “Come here. There’s more this way.”
I follow her around the top of the lighthouse, and she shows me the docks and the buoys, and the ice cream stand that isn’t too far away. Then she grabs Micah’s hand. “Let’s play pirates. You stay up here and look out for us, okay?”
“Okay.” I have no idea what playing pirates involves, but I can stay and be the lookout.
Skyler and Micah disappear down the stairs. I stand at the railing and Tobias comes to my side. The noises of Micah and Skyler clomping down the steps grows softer until we can no longer hear them.
I feel so bad for what I said earlier, I grip the railing and lower my gaze. “I’m sorry I brought up something painful.”
He shifts beside me. “It’s okay. You didn’t know.”
“I made an assumption that people with money have easy lives and can do anything they want.” Saying it out loud makes me cringe.
Tobias shakes his head. “It’s not like that.”
“I’m starting to understand.” A breeze blows through my thin t-shirt. The sun is about to set, and it’s getting cooler out.
“After my parents died, the money was a pressure, not a relief.” Tobias stares out over the ocean and swallows. “It was stifling.”
I can’t even imagine money being this way. I’ve lived my whole life without it. “How so?”
“I was just a kid. I had no idea how to manage my parent’s money. What if I spent it all? What if I lost what my parents and grandparents built up? I was terrified to touch it. But I had to. I had three younger siblings to take care of.” He runs a hand over his hair. “It was a nightmare.”
I try to think how I would feel if I was suddenly in charge of money that was not my own. “What did you do?”
“I read a lot of books and online articles on how to invest. I knew if I didn’t invest the money, it would just dwindle away. I couldn’t get a job. I had to take care of my siblings. So, I learned by trial and error how to invest and grow the money that way.”
