And for this one instance, I’m weak again. My eyes sting with hurt. “I don’t know. Sunday through Thursday of last week, maybe?” I shrug with a hard swallow.
Pain flickers in his eyes. “Rose, I’m sorry. You have to know I didn’t leave that day because of you or because of those photos.”
My eyes well and I have to look away. “Of course it was,” I whisper, but I’m not sure he heard me.
He leans in, voice dropping to something just between us. “No, it wasn’t.” His throat bobs, like he’s swallowing down words he’s not sure he can say. “It’s just .?.?. when I saw them, I immediately thought of the guy youtoldme was no one.”
I snap my head back to him, just barely controlling my outrage. “It was irrelevant. But it was still a hell of a lot more than you ever shared with me.”
His jaw hardens. “I know. It wasn’t fair to you. It just .?.?. triggered something for me.” He twists the glass in his hands. “I want to tell you what happened with Bonnie.”
I shake my head. “You don’t have to. Wesley did. I know what she did and I get you’re protecting yourself.”
He meets my eyes. “I hurt a lot of people choosing her, trusting her. Never realizing her head and heart were somewhere else. A road I had no place for.” His eyes linger on me like it’s the only thing he’s allowed now. “I was afraid down the line .?.?. I’d lose you the same way.”
My whole body screams to reach for him. To say his name and convince him that he’d have all of me if he’d given me a chance.
Someone hails for a refill, and I slide another drink down the bar and turn back.
“I didn’t understand,” I tell him honestly. “But I do now.”
“You do?”
I nod. “And I don’t blame you. Giving your heart to someone just because they’re here now doesn’t mean you’ll have them forever.”
With that, I turn and avoid him for the rest of the night.
36
Wilder
Three days later
Wilder:How are things?
Dallas:Hilarious.
Wilder:What?
Dallas:Dad’s helping out and he’s commissioned Silas for the next two weeks.
Sounds about right. Silas’s attempts on the ranch are downright comical. He moves like a fish out of water. The way he tries to saddle a horse, you’d think he was defusing a bomb instead of tightening a cinch.
Wilder:When’s he due back on the ice?
Dallas:Mid-September. How are things over there?
Wilder:Remember that time Silas tried to herd cattle?
Dallas:Ha. Yeah.
Wilder:He had a smoother handle on it than I do right now.
Dallas:I’ll see you Friday?
Wilder:See you Friday.
37
