“No. He drove me home in my car and then took a cab home.”
My friend seemed utterly bored with my story as she rolled her eyes.
“Did you hear, I had like amazing seats.”
She sighed audibly. “Every word.”
I shook my head, grabbing an avocado. “And you’re not impressed?” Frankly, neither was I. But I had to distract her from asking any more of her invasive questions I wasn’t prepared to answer.
“Because I’m trying to figure out when you’ll get to the part where you tell me what the hell is going on with you two.”
“Nothing.” I spit out too eagerly.
“That’s why you get all worked up when you talk about him? Why he keeps just showing up? How you ended upcrashingon his couch? You still owe me the full story on that.”
“That was—weird, I know.”
“Um…no, that’s the making of a porno, except you…once again chickened out and just fucking left.”
“You’re exhausting.” I tossed the unripe avocado back into the stack and moved on.
“When you get your cherry popped, it’ll be all you think about too.”
I gasped. “How do you know I’m…?”
She scanned me head to toe. “Oh honey, please. You’re afraid of dick.”
My mouth dropped.
She pointed her finger at me. “Careful, you might catch one.”
“Ew.”
She shut her eyes, with a shake of her head, as if I’d just turned down a Tiffany’s necklace. “I can’t with you.”
I picked up an eggplant, feeling it for firmness and muttered. “I am not afraid of dick.”
Nic dropped her basket on the floor by her feet. “Alright give me that.” She yanked it out of my hand and observed it. This one’s way too thick, let’s try this one.” She reached for another slightly thinner eggplant.
“What are you doing?”
“This right here…this is Troy’s dick.” She smoothed a hand along the length and my face cringed.
“Will you stop saying that?” I hissed, my eyes sweeping the shoppers around us.
“Fine, here, you take it.”
“No, you’re being weird.”
“Take. It,” she growled and I yanked the damn vegetable from her.
“Hey, be careful with that. You’ve got to start slow.”
I shrugged and chuckled. “Why, is it going to break?”
“No. Just smooth your hand all along the length of it, run your thumb over the tip and—”
“Why am I doing this?”
