I shook my head. I would have probably burst into more tears if I had any left. “You’re right. I’m afraid.” I lifted my arm, turning up my wrist and laughing at myself. “I’m enchained. In a town I grew up in that feels like a prison to me now instead of home,” my voice broke again.
How was this even possible? Wasn’t there such a thing as all cried out?
Sitting beside me, she asked, “What happened at work?” her voice wavered as if she were afraid to ask. “Did he give you a hard time again?”
I shook my head. “No he doesn’t bother me. But you’re right. For years, I’ve put up with his threats. With more than half my hometown thinking I’m the bitch that broke his heart. Do you know at one point, I believed them? I believed that I was the reason that he turned out angry and cold and threatening. Maybe I didn’t love him enough. Maybe he hated being a father so early in his life, just as his career in the pros was starting.”
Sam nodded sympathetically. Then opened her mouth. “Or maybe he’s always been a cold, abrasive and verbally abusive son of a bitch and you finally decided you didn’t need that.”
I huffed a laugh. “Or that.”
She reached for my hand and didn’t say anything else.
“I was with Logan tonight.”
“I thought you went to work.”
“He was there. In the locker room. Alone.”
“And?”
“And Max almost walked in on us, along with some other guys on the team.”
“Yikes. That must have been intense.”
“You have no idea. Logan and I hid and waited them out, but my reaction…I think it freaked him out. Actually I’m pretty sure it did,” I laughed bitterly.
She released a heavy breath. “Oh, I’m sorry.”
“It’s for the best, I guess. But Sam, I can’t live like this anymore.I won’t.”
She squeezed my hand. “I was wrong. He doesn’t own you. Even if you feel like he does, he doesn’t. No one does.”
“Thank you.” I stood, setting my tea on the coffee table. “I’ve been keeping a list of contacts for when this day finally came.” I forced a small smile. “Maybe I’ll start making some calls Monday.”
“It’s going to be okay. And I’ll help however I can.”
“Thank you.” I yawned and walked over to Jax’s room. Peeking in, then walking in. I snuck into his twin bed and put an arm over him for just a few minutes.
But didn’t wake up until nearly seven the next morning.
By 8:00 a.m. Saturday morning, I was sipping my coffee on my balcony, welcoming the fall breeze. When my phone pinged, I picked it up, knowing it had to be Dr. Mendez with timing for the game later that night. And I was right.
There was another unread text on my phone from much earlier in the morning.
It was from Logan.
2:00 AM
Been up thinking about you.
I’m sorry about earlier…
Actually I’m not…and will never be. I meant you deserve more than a locker room hook-up.
I hope it’s not too late for me to do it right.
2:12 AM
