The chair.
The damned chair where she sat and cried while he told her he couldn’t forgive her. Where her life was falling apart.
Something between sadness, fear and scrutiny was in her dark eyes as she stared at that chair. Goosebumps shot up her arms and she hugged herself. Every ounce of him wanted to reach out, pull her into his arms and tear her away from one of her darkest moments.
But he couldn’t.
He should embrace his instinct to protect her. Protect her from any unforgiving memories scraping their way to the surface. Instead, he stood there, unable to fight the burning need for her to remember that night.
To find out if she would fight for him.
Snapping out of his thoughts, he paced to her side and lifted her chin. He stared deep into her confused eyes. They burned into his before pulling back as if to see him from a distance.
“I was here with you,” she recalled.
“Of course you were, this is where we usually stay when— ”
“No,” her voice louder and angrier. “No, no,” she blinked away. “I was upset. I was very, very upset.” Her voice grew louder in a panic.
He instantly grabbed her shoulders, ready to shake her out of her cold memory. But he just held them, as she looked up at him with desperate eyes.
“Why was I so upset?” she whispered.
“Lizzy, why don’t you come back outside, we can—”
She sprung loose from his hold. “Why was I so upset, were we fighting?” Her eyes flashed down and to her left. “No…no we weren’t fighting. We were—no you were calm.” She threw her hands in the air and shut her eyes. “God dammit, why can’t I hear anything you’re saying? Why?” She grabbed his arms and shook him, her eyes were pleading, but in a convicting way.
His heart was being attacked by a massive shredder and everything seemed to move in slow motion. Everything around him a blur. She was breaking down in front of him and he couldn’t do anything to stop it. He wanted more than anything to turn back time, so that he could have taken her into another room, or turn back to tell Megan there was no way in hell he’d bring Liz for a visit. Hell, he’d even turn it as far back as before her accident and have a do-over on that night if it meant she wouldn’t have to be living this terrifying moment.
“I think this is normal, Liz. In—in fact, I’m sure it is.” He shut his eyes and rubbed the top of his lids, knowing he was going to regret taking the doctor’s advice. “What else are you feeling?”
She turned away. “Nothing,” her shoulders slacked in defeat.
“Look, why don’t I call the doctor and let him know you’re having—.”
“Let him know the first memory I have of my husband is in this dark, creepy room and he’s saying things that are upsetting me?”
“It wasn’t like that, Liz,” he whispered.
She swallowed hard and tears started rolling down her cheeks. “No,” she said softly and shook her head. “My only memory of the one person I’ve doubted since the day I met him...doesn’t surprise me at all.”
That hurt him more than if she had re-told the story of how she ended up with his brother. He took a deep breath, reminding himself that the woman before him needed help, not resentment. “Honey, it was a small, stupid fight, it happened just before your accident, you don’t even know what we were talking about.” And he hoped it stayed that way.
At least for now.
She turned her head slowly and walked back to the chair, gazing at it, as if waiting for it to reveal something else to her. “I may not know what you’re saying to me, but I know you’re hurting me,” she murmured.
He came up behind her. He wouldn’t touch her yet, he just stood for a minute.
“Please leave me alone.” Her eyes were closed, and her voice was exhausted.
“I’m not leaving you alone here.”
Hesitating for a moment, he turned her around. Then pulled her onto the edge of the bed. Kneeling before her, he took both her hands in his. She wasn’t letting this go, and if re-assurance is what she needed, then he was going to give it to her. He was going to save herhisway.
“Okay,” he whispered, with an exhausted breath. “The last time we were in this room, it wasn’t pleasant. We, uh, we had a bad night.”
She looked back at him. “You said it was small and stupid.”
