For a brief moment, before he guided her onto the bed, Liz glanced to the spot in the room remembering the night before when Matt had outwardly rejected her. Knowing there had been something dark in his eyes, something he was hiding. Something he wasstillhiding; she was sure of it. Something that had to do withher. It would be foolish to think it didn’t. It was only visible when he looked directly at her. When she’d advanced on him and challenged him to be with her the way a husband should.
In the midst of her thoughts, she felt his warm, gentle hand slip under her shirt and unclasp her bra. It was so smooth and deft, like someone who’d done the same thing with her a thousand times. But contrary to what she’d told him down on the stairwell, she wasn’t ready for this. She needed to know what it was that rested behind those doubting eyes.
After a few more heated exchanges of kisses, she reluctantly pushed him off her.
He pulled back with his eyes wide. “I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have just—”
“No, it’s fine. I am just…I just wanted to know…” she trailed off. It wasn’t that she hesitated to ask him something, it was that she wasn’t sure what there was to ask.
But the way he looked at her right now, there was no doubt in her mind that he wanted her. Why fight it? Why question it? “It’s nothing,” she insisted.
When he just stared at her for a few seconds, giving her time to change her mind, she decided he needed more convincing. Pulling herself up, she pulled her shirt off, letting the bra he unclasped a moment ago fall off her shoulders.
“Can you remind me how I like it?” she whispered in his ear. He let out a soft growl and pulled her against his chest. Her pulse raced and she barely felt his hand glide up her skirt. He kissed her with so much force, she was going to lose her mind. He lifted her and pinned her against the headboard. Pulling away for only a moment to slide off his pants and remove his shirt, he met her back against the board, kissing her furiously. She hadn’t realized his hands were tightly holding her thighs in place until both hands started moving slowly up her skirt. His right hand pressed firmly against her back while the other teased her with strokes.
“Does it matter how you liked it before?” he whispered back, softly blowing in her ear. “Tell me what you want now.” He kept stroking her slowly, but wouldn’t go further. Not until she answered him. That was clear.
She opened her eyes and noticed a slight smirk as he watched her need build. “I want you to stop playing,” she murmured as she lowered herself into his hold.
Instantly his smirk turned into a wide grin as he pushed two fingers into her, pulling her deeper with the hand that still rested on her lower back.
Chapter 21
MATT
Matt watched Liz sleep soundly next to him. He hadn’t realized how much he missed her until now. The last time they were intimate was at his parents’ house, the night he’d found out about them and he’d returned drunk after spending hours at the Tavern. He swallowed hard with the memory of feeling like he’d forced her, even though she was willing and almost desperate for him that night. The memory of asking her to close her eyes as he approached and handled her just to see if she trusted him, sent an invisible knife through his heart.
He tried to replay the night. Every inch of her he touched. Not just where but how forceful and demanding. Nothing stuck out at him, he’d always been gentle with her, but he cringed, regardless.
What if she didn’t like it and endured it to prove something to him? He’d never imagined putting her through that, or anyone for that matter. It wasn’t who he was.
Then again, that night, he didn’t know who he was married to either. The stranger he thought he knew and trusted. The woman who had done the unthinkable and then went on to lie about it for years.
He fought the urge to throw off the covers and storm off. He couldn’t confuse and hurt her like that again. This innocent woman needed him. Today, after they’d returned from the hospital, she reminded him of the woman he met years ago. It was almost like their first date all over again. Getting to know each other. Except in this case, she was getting to know both of them.
Matt decided Liz wasn’t ready to start getting her memories back. There had been too much tragedy and trauma in her life for her to remember all at once. He had to help her get to know him better first so she could trust him and feel safe with him, then the memories wouldn’t be so bad.
Then how is she going to feel when you finally tell her it’s over?
The constant inner reminder of the fact that he never got the chance to tell her he couldn’t forgive or get past her betrayal had become a nagging thought as well.
Somehow, when the time was right, they’d talk. But first, he needed to take care of her. And she needed tender care. Before they fell asleep, Matt had asked Liz about her nightmare. She’d finally opened up about it and it nearly killed him when she finished. She had said it was “terrible.”
Matt determined it was damn near horrific.
The sub-conscious human mind was becoming more of a phenomenon to him as he remembered her description of the car accident. The blinding headlights, shattered glass, the dead parents—and what struck him the most—the unfazed husband who stared at her as she bled out. That wasn’t exactly how she described it, but the picture was well painted, and it was the exact definition of a nightmare.
In her dream, she was alone. Even her husband, who had “survived” the accident, didn’t seem to care that she was hurt and needed him. She was in every sense of the word—alone.
He rubbed his temples to soothe the growing headache as he continued torturing himself, wondering how much of his “empty look” in her dream resembled the look he’d given her when she took his keys and left the house. A shiver went down his spine. He couldn’t believe he’d left her that morning to go work on a boat!
Liz broke into his thoughts when she shifted closer to him and he leaned in to wrap an arm around her. Her warm body felt right under his touch, and he could feel, if not see on her rested features, that she was content in his arms. Perhaps he would get some sleep that night after all.
Chapter 22
LIZ
Liz poured a steamy cup of coffee for herself. She insisted to keep trying all the things she’d been known to do and enjoy before her accident. To feel as much like herself as possible. The doctor had given her a comparison of imagining that she had walked to work the same way for five years, and then one day decided to choose a different route. “Why would you do anything that wouldn’t be familiar to you, even if you don’t like it?” Dr. Tai had explained.
