She watched him, unaffected. He knew she was waiting for more.
He didn’t know why he dulled it down for her. If he had told the entire story, she would know that seeing her in the building time and time again nearly made his heart stop. That her smile was breathtaking from the first time he saw it to way past the day of their wedding. He wouldn’t have admitted to himself at the time, but the only reason he went to the dorms’ bonfires was because Liz would usually be there. He had always been there for her as a friend and never pushed. Mainly because her dating life was a revolving door and he didn’t want to end up being another number. One night, she knocked on his door during a rainstorm because she was locked out and asked if she could stay until her roommate, Lauren, got home. They stayed up most of the night having a few beers and talking. He still remembered it as one of the best nights of his life.
What made it more unforgettable, was days later when he saw Lauren reach for a key under their welcome rug. He mentioned it was a good idea that they do that now, and Lauren shrugged and said it was the reason they got that welcome mat when they moved in. They had always kept a spare there. He smiled to himself as he remembered the look on Liz’s face when he asked her about that. The reddest cheeks he’d ever seen on anyone. He had laughed lightly and kissed her, for their first real, deep kiss. Sweet, innocent, nothing like what would have happened years to follow.
He glanced at her and shifted uncomfortably. “My brother stayed there too.” His eyes burned with anger. He wasn’t sure why he added that. It was all he could think of to keep the story casual and not emotional. His plan failed.
“Are you two close?”
He really wished she hadn’t asked that. “No.”
She watched him. “I’m sorry. Can I ask why?”
He turned to her coldly. Then caught himself and forced a grin. “Let’s just say he borrowed something without asking.” It made him sick labeling her as thesomething.
“Oh.” She sat back. “That doesn’t sound so bad. Whatever it was, must have been recent.”
He stared deeper into the distance, desperately avoiding her questioning stare. The flames still burning his chest.
“I like him,” she remarked after a short silent moment, nodding slightly as if in approval. She was unknowingly throwing wood into the fire he was trying desperately to put out. One silent breath at a time.
Matt stood abruptly and ran his fingers through his hair. He paced and let out a breath. “Are you okay? Do you need anything else? I’m going to head to work.”
“Oh, what do you do?” He couldn’t tell if her avoiding his urgency was intentional.
Of course, it isn’t, Matt told himself. For Liz, it was the simplest question anyone could ask. For him, it felt strange and surreal that a woman he’d known for over six years was asking what he did for a living. “I run the Arts and Science department at the State University.”
Liz’s eyes widened. “Oh.” Then suddenly frowned and jumped. “Oh, should I be going to work too?”
He smiled and relaxed. “No. You’re safe. You’re an elementary school teacher. It’s the middle of July. You’re not due back for a while, hopefully by then…” he trailed off.
Liz sat back down, disappointed and looked up at him. “I’ll remember the basics of second grade?” she finished, with one lifted eyebrow.
“Yeah, but there’ll be more to it than that.” He watched her sip her tea for a short moment. “I left my office and cell number for you. Call if you need anything. You can text me anytime too.” He also left numbers for the hospital, Dr. Tai and her brother. Although he debated about that last one for a while. Perhaps he’d call Marcus later and continue their chat that was cut short at the hospital.
Liz blinked in acknowledgment at the numbers but didn’t say anything. She watched him without a trace of emotion on her face as he struggled internally to leave.
“I’ll be back in a few hours.” He gave her a tentative smile and walked back into the apartment, leaving her to her mysterious thoughts on the balcony.
He squeezed his eyes shut and gritted his teeth for letting an innocent remark get to him. The truth was he could have taken another day to stay home with her, and had intended on it. Spend all the necessary time to help her remember anything, talk to her and let her get to know him. Instead, he let himself get angry at an innocent woman and leave her to fend for herself in a strange place.
He let out an uneasy breath. But did temporarily forgetting your mistakes make you innocent?
He grabbed his keys and pulled open the door. He couldn’t risk her coming back in and letting her see this dark side of him that he felt starting to resurface.
Chapter 14
LIZ
Liz shut the last album she could find on the bookshelf in the den. A charmingly decorated yet dark room, which she found strange for an area intended for reading and working. Two dark cherry bookshelves covered an entire wall and part of another wall. There was a dark wooden coffee table that was set between two green arm chairs. At the far end of the room was a busy desk and ivory leather chair. She walked over to the window and reached the record player beside it. She peeked in to look at the title. Not that it mattered, she wouldn’t have recognized any of them. She played what was already in the record player. A free-flowing piano dueling with a muted trumpet started. Jazz.
She turned back to stare at the array of photo albums she had gone through in the past few hours. Photographic proofs which had not only triggered nothing but left her disappointed. This should have been all the evidence she needed to know that this man was who he claimed to be. But for some odd reason, it didn’t satisfy her doubt. Or maybe the disappointment was that she hoped not to find any proof at all. And the reason she hadn’t got her memory back was because there was nothing from her past life to trigger it.
After the way Matt had left her hours ago, she was convinced that she was being deceived. Perhaps not entirely. But something surely didn’t feel right. You didn’t need to have all your memories in place to see the man practically jump out of his skin to get away from you. His rejection of her at the hospital could be understood. The door was, after all, free for any medical professional on that floor to walk in. She could even look past, be grateful in fact, for him insisting on sleeping in a different room until she felt more comfortable. But Matt abandoning her hours ago, made her feel like he was more of a caregiver rather than her husband.
Back upstairs, Liz stood by the door of their bedroom looking at the perfectly made bed. Still feeling that there was something strange about Matt’s words earlier.
You don’t have to think of it as our room…at least not yet.
