“Why can’t anyone just let me be? Maybe this was a mistake. All of this. Maybe they’re all right.”
“Who?”
“My dad. Em…Chris.”
Rick looked down at the ground, nodding at that last person I’d named.
“I can’t do this.” I said quietly.
He popped his head up. “You haven’t even tried.”
“Exactly.” I threw my arms in the air. “I haven’t even tried. I’ve been avoiding having to make choices, and maybe… maybe that’s because there’s really only one choice for me: to go back home.” I blinked a tear away just as another round of thunder struck in the distance. Absently, I turned in the direction of the sound. I felt him glaring at me and faced him. This next thing had to be said. “I don’t belong here.”
“Is that how you really feel?”
I felt even more tears coming and sniffled them away. “Chris tried to make me understand that life shouldn’t be just a guessing game or taking wrong turns or something like that, and I just got angry and ran off.” I laughed silently at myself and gave a light shake of my head, realizing I was probably not making any sense to Rick.
“Well, then, maybe you should be spending your time with Chris. ’Cause I’m certainly no good to you. I’ve barely got my shit together, right?” His angry words cut through me like a sharp knife.
“That’s not what I meant.” I realized I’d hurt him by mentioning Chris and reached for his arm. He pulled away before I could touch him and started walking toward the soaked wooden fence along the boardwalk.
The clouds were still dark, and the storm was ongoing. A flash of lightning flickered in the distance and then disappeared. It was followed by a rolling sound of thunder.
I caught up with him at the fence. I could almost feel the tension in his biceps as he held on to it and watched the crushing waves. He inhaled slowly. “When are you leaving?” he asked without looking back at me.
“What?”
Rick turned to glare at me. His eyes were dark, and I couldn’t tell if it was just the reflection of the stormy clouds. “You’ve finally figured out that you don’t belong here. So… when are you leaving?” His demonic tone brought me back to the present.
“My dad got me a plane ticket for this weekend, and—”
“Wait, you’re not even finishing out the summer?”
“What? How can you think that? Of course I am. I mean, I was going to but—”
“But what? Then you realized that it’s okay to abandon the camp, your kids?” He ran his fingers through his wet hair, frustrated. Then he let out a short laugh. “Well, I’m glad we were able to contribute to your trial period. Sorry we didn’t make the cut.”
I shook my head vigorously at his nonsense. I attempted to get my dilemma across. “It’s not that easy to have it all figured out, Rick.” It sounded like the same thing I had felt like telling Chris and Emily at one point.
“Well, it sounds like you’re about to head in the right direction. Don’t let me stop you.” With one last disappointed stare, he turned and walked away from me.
CHAPTER 22
Three sugars?” My dad asked me at the coffee shop the next morning. I’d told him that if he wanted to have breakfast with me, then he’d have to meet me at seven a.m., since my first class started at eight.
“One, Dad.”
“One.” He said matter-of-factly, as if he’d known it all along. “Really, one?” He raised an eyebrow.
“Yes. But in your defense, it used to be three. I just like to taste the coffee now.”
“One sugar,” he said, pouring the packet in my foam cup.
“So how are you feeling this morning?”
“I’m fine. Why?”
“You’ve sort of been walking around like a zombie since you got back from meeting your friend yesterday.” He glanced at me. Somehow I had the feeling he knew it wasn’t just a friend I went to meet.
