“It’s just what I do.”
“There’s a reason for everything, Amy. You just have to figure out what yours is.”
I felt a rising urge for a defense, and an invisible wall went up while he was playing his game. For a moment, I thought he was turning out to be just like everyone else—questioning my reasoning and doubting me. But this was different. Rick was going deeper into the meanings behind everything I did.
Rick watched me ponder those last few words for a moment before pulling himself up and reaching a hand down to me. He held on to my hand as we started strolling back toward the spot on the boardwalk where he’d parked the night before.
I wanted to smile but was afraid that it would become a permanent fixture if I dared to let it free.
“Well, when I figure it out, I’ll let you know.”
He spread a wide smile. “Good, because to be honest, I’m curious about what it is that drives you.” He stopped to look at me. “You’re one of the most incredible women I’ve ever met, and I’m pretty certain whatever your reasons are, you’ll figure out where you belong and what you’re meant to be.”
He kissed me again before opening the car door for me.
A rush of dizzying emotions twirled through me as I walked back into my room. I barely remembered how I’d got back there. I’d been walking in a daze since I left Rick. The romantic in me wanted to dance around to the music in my head after my amazing night. The cynical part of me was still stuck on his earlier words to me: What drives you?
I thought there was something that drove me. Something that inspired me. Something that told me that I needed to get away and force a new beginning for myself and maybe figure it out. Maybe even make a mistake somewhere along the way, but that was okay because I was young enough to make them.
But all it seemed to do was attract attention from friends, family, and people I’d met only a mere two weeks ago as they waited in suspense until I figured it out.
Suddenly making the wrong decision felt terrifying. As if I were on stage and everyone except for me knew my next line and wondered if I’d get it right. I shook my head to clear the image of walls closing in on me.
I needed to call someone. But not Rick or Rachel; I needed to hear a familiar voice. I reached for my cell and took a deep breath, deciding to reach out to my best friend and pray she’d put her anger aside to help me find my calm place.
It rang twice and the voicemail abruptly answered. I sighed and hung up, almost relieved she didn’t feel like talking. I knew what she wanted to hear from me anyway, some reassurance that her permanent-resident best friend would be coming back soon.
I stared at my screen before dialing another number that was second nature to me: my dad’s.
CHAPTER 20
After the morning classes on Thursday, Rick and I went for a stroll along the boardwalk. We walked farther down the path than I’d ever traveled. The shops and restaurants were now nowhere in sight, and the beach was emptier on that end.
“Should we turn back?” I asked. I didn’t want to be late for our afternoon sessions.
“Not just yet. I want to show you something.”
“Yeah, okay. That doesn’t sound creepy,” I joked.
“Relax.” He smiled and turned to a four-story building that stood just behind the parking under the boardwalk. “Besides, we’re here.”
I looked up at the old-fashioned stony-white apartment building. It held rows of copper-fenced balconies overlooking the ocean. The windows weren’t wide, but the balcony doors probably made up for the exposure. Looking around briefly, I figured it was probably the oldest building on this side of the beach. It might not have been impressive inside, but its authentic appearance was something to be appreciated.
“What is it?”
He beamed at me. “It’s where I’m going to live. I signed the lease early this morning and I pick up the keys on Friday.”
“Rick. That’s amazing. Have you told Jill?”
“Not yet. I wanted to tell you first.”
I smiled back at him thoughtfully.
“I wish I could show you the inside. It’s not too shabby, I’ll admit, for the rent. It’s perfect, I mean, I work at the club all year-round and go to school a half hour from here. Plus, it’s got a great view.” We turned to the ocean.
“Yeah, I’ll say.” I agreed in a daze, looking into the glistening ocean.
Rick slipped his fingers through mine, pulled me for a slow, intimate, and breathtaking kiss.
