I can feel the heat creep up my neck, grateful the hallway is so dark Asher won't be able to see me blush. My skin feels like it's on fire. "Not long at all."
That's a lie. I don't even remember how long it's been since I've gotten any blow job, let alone one Asher's describing.And why do I feel the need to get defensive about it, anyway? Why am I even having this conversation?
Asher looks like he tries to conceal a smirk as he licks his bottom lip again, the movement slow and deliberate. He's doing it on purpose, I'm sure. And the worst part? It's fucking working. "You'd want one, wouldn't you?"
And before I can shout out something totally untrue, like 'No I fucking wouldn't,' Asher continues, his voice silky smooth, "Don't worry. I don't plan on sucking you. I don't typically suck cocks of people I don't know, despite what my reputation may say." It takes everything I've got to stop myself from challenging that statement, to keep my mouth shut when my brain unhelpfully supplies images of what Asher's mouth might look like wrapped around—
No! Fuck no.
His voice drops another octave, becoming something dark and rich that seems to wrap around me like smoke. "Although," he says as he leans in closer, like he's about to tell me a secret, his cologne making my head spin. I fight off the urge to lean in as well, though my body sways traitorously. "You might go get some fresh air now. You look a little…" And then, he leans back and slowly runs his gaze all along my body, from my face to my crotch where the now very obvious outline of my hard cock is, "…flustered."
Defeat.
I have never felt more defeated than I do now.
Not only do I avert my gaze, no longer able to hold Asher's stare, I have no words to offer. My usual sharp tongue seems to have abandoned me entirely. Somehow, during the span of one night Asher managed to twist me in knots, makingme question everything I know about myself, and that… That's fucking scary.
My heart is pounding, trying to break out of my ribcage. Not able to look Asher in the eye I push off the wall, mutter an "Excuse me," and bolt, rushing down that damn narrow hallway.
Chapter 5
I DO MY best to avoid eye contact with anybody, praying the frat house is dark enough for my obvious erection to be a little less obvious as I rush toward a sliding glass door leading to the back porch. The cool glass against my palm as I slide it open feels like salvation.
I step outside just as two people walk in, slide the door closed and walk over to the railing and lean down. The night air hits my overheated skin like a blessing.
One, two, three long breaths that do nothing to calm me before I finally look up and around. I let out a shaky exhale of relief when I notice I'm alone. The distant sound of crickets and rustling leaves feels surreal after the pounding bass inside.
Thank fucking God.
I don't even know how to begin justifying my throbbing boner, sleep deprivation suddenly a laughable excuse. My dick seems to have developed a mind of its own, along with preferences I never knew about.
Fuck…What's happening to me?
I stand like that for a few minutes, trying to get my breathing under control, trying to wait out my boner.Asher's phantom words ricochet off my skull making the task impossible, each echo sending another jolt of heat through my body.
I jerk when I hear the door slide open behind me, music spilling from inside before quieting down again. The sound feels like a death sentence.
And although there's about fifty people inside and it could be anybody, I know exactly who just stepped out on the terrace to torment me further. It's apparent by the unhurriedness of heavy steps as they grow louder and louder until coming to a halt in a very, very close distance.
The wooden floorboards of the porch creak as Asher comes to a stop behind me. The sound seems to echo in the quiet night air, amplified by my heightened senses. Every hair on my body stands on end, like there's electricity crackling between us.
I turn around to face him, my fingers gripping the railing behind me. The motion brings us face to face, and the tension that's been building all night reaches a crescendo. The yard light catches the angles of Asher's face, casting shadows that make him look almost otherworldly.
He steps closer, so close I can count his eyelashes, can see the slight stubble on his jaw, can make out the different shades of brown in his irises. But our bodies still don't touch—the space between us charged like the air before a storm.
A gust of wind rustles through the trees, cooling my heated skin, making me shiver. Or maybe it's not the wind at all. My body screams at me to close that infinitesimal gap between us, to finally discover if Asher's body is as warm as it looks, if his skin is as soft as I imagine. My muscles twitch with the effort of holding back, and I catch myself swaying forward before jerking to a stop.
Something shifts in Asher's expression then—the heat in his eyes giving way to a spark of... amusement? He takes a step back, tilting his head as he studies my face. "Wait..."
My heart pounds against my ribs so hard I'm sure Asher must hear it. The sudden distance between us feels wrong somehow, like a vacuum that needs to be filled.
Asher's eyes narrow slightly as understanding dawns on his face. "You're straight, aren't you?"
"No!" The word bursts out of me before my brain can catch up with my mouth, sharp and defensive like Asher just insulted me. Then my own response registers and my eyes drop to the wooden boards beneath my feet. "I mean, yes." My voice comes out smaller now, uncertain. Why did I saynofirst? Why did that feel like the natural response?
Asher's expression softens, and he raises his palms in a placating gesture, taking another step back. The movement creates more space between us—too much space—and I can see him preparing to speak, probably to end whatever this is.
Before he can say anything, before he can walk away and leave me alone with my confusion, my body moves of its own accord. I step forward, closing the distance between us again, though I still can't quite bring myself to initiate contact. My heart is trying to climb up my throat.
