“No, thank you. We both know what it says.”
“Why not open it, then?”
“Isn’t it easier not to?”
“Only if you like living a lie,” Mary teased. “Come on, I got a letter from Thomas yesterday, and I’ve been wanting to read it to you. Shall we do the Corporal’s first?”
Lizzie smiled at her friend gratefully and reached for the envelope. It was thicker and heavier than just a short note. She pulled out its contents and saw her own handwriting on thepapers. He’d returned all her letters and notes. She sighed, a heavy sense of finality settling over her.
“He’s returning all my letters, in case it was unclear to either of us what happened last night.”
“He wrote nothing else?”
“No,” Elizabeth sighed, “he’s probably worried my brother will file a suit against him for breach of promise. Nicholas is a duke, and the Corporal has very limited funds. I have to be the one to break off the engagement. It is the least I can do for him, after the scene he witnessed last night,” she finished, disgusted by the memory of everyone leering at her.
“I still cannot believe you shall be marrying the dukeling,” Mary said. “I told you to be careful about that one, remember?”
Elizabeth closed her eyes.
“Sorry. I know saying it doesn’t help,” Mary apologised.
“He never said a word to me, you know. The Corporal. In the cloak room, after everything. He just screamed for Nicholas, like I wasn’t even there.”
“Oh, Lizzie.” Mary was unable to conceal the pity she felt.
“I’d better go write that letter," Elizabeth said as she stood up with great effort. "If Aunt Isolde calls on me, tell her I’m not home.”
A very pale and very feeble-looking Sophie came to see Elizabeth later that day.
“I am so sorry, Lizzie. Nicholas told me what happened and that, instead of helping, he argued with you, and I got so upset with him,” she said, and Elizabeth felt even worse.
“Oh, no, you shouldn’t get upset on my account when you’re this unwell,” she fretted, but Sophie just waved her hand impatiently.
“Don’t worry about me. How areyoufeeling?”
Elizabeth shrugged and looked away, suddenly uneasy. She first wondered whether Sophie saw her differently after what had happened, but then she started worrying that Sophie had always seen her as a charity case from thedemi-mondethat would never truly fit in.
“Elizabeth? Are you alright?” Sophie tried again. “Nicholas shouldn’t have been cross with you. He was surprised and upset and worried, and he and Duke Talbot, well,” she stopped herself and frowned, perhaps weighing whether to say what was truly on her mind and then deciding against it, “never mind that. My point is, all young people sometimes have experiences like that before matrimony and it is not the end of the world. The unfortunate part was that yours was made public,” she concluded and her kind face showed only sympathy.
“Duke Talbot and I, we... nothing happened,” Lizzie stammered, completely ignoring the memory of his entire body pressed against hers as he traced her neck with her nose.
She didn’t even have a name for that, nor did she understand why he had done it.
“We were just talking in the cloak room. I'm aware that this sounds like a lie, but it is the truth,” she said in a desperate tone, urging Sophie to believe her, needingsomeoneto believe her.
Sophie sat up, looking alarmed.
“Do you not wish to marry the duke? Because Nicholas thinks-”
“Oh no, no, nothing like that,” Elizabeth hastened to lie, aware that not marrying Talbot would only complicate things further. She’d be disgracedandunmarried then. And Nicholas had even resorted to fisticuffs to secure her matrimony.
She was suddenly struck by the realisation that Nicholas could have called the other man out and got himself killed. She lost all feeling in her legs.
She’d just get married and be done with it. She would not be a burden or a disappointment to anyone any longer.
“Good,” Sophie sighed in relief, because she truly abhorred the idea of Lizzie being forced into a marriage she didn’t want.
Elizabeth, however, interpreted Sophie’s visible relief as a confirmation of her fear that everyone wanted to be rid of her.
