They were both silent for a while, then Lizzie said, “That must have been so confusing. Seeing your mother be bitter and unhappy, and knowing she had good reason for it, but not being the one at fault.”
“I did feel at fault, though,” Talbot explained. “Just by being his son, just by contributing to her unhappiness by existing, by being born.”
“Oh, Colin,” Lizzie said tearfully. “Don’t say that.”
“I’ve told you already, I don’t deserve your compassion, and I am not going to take it,” he said forcefully, then added in a more gentle tone, “You should rest a bit now, we’re going to be riding through the night without stopping.”
“That’s not a good idea, your shoulder…”
He interrupted her. “Please, I need to be at Norwich as soon as possible.”
Lizzie just nodded, but then she gasped, “Mary! She cannot…”
“Don’t worry,” Colin said as he held his palm up. “I’ve spoken to Ward. They will spend the night at our inn and join us at Norwich tomorrow.”
“Thank you,” Elizabeth said, but he looked like he hadn’t even heard her.
*
She spent the night alternating between fitful sleep and worrying about the similarities between her own marriage and that of his parents. She also thought about Talbot’s unhappy childhood and about everything that he had told her.
She respected him for not using his painful past to explain away his behaviour when she’d discovered the truth about how their marriage came to be. She remembered Nicholas’s first description of Talbot, years ago.
Due to his own unorthodox family history and the world-view he espouses, this individual cannot find it in his heart to believe that marriage and family can be sources of happiness,her brother had said.
Why hadn’t Nicholas told her any of this before she married Colin?
With everything that happened in those two days, when would he have found the time to tell you? Besides, would that have changed anything?She wondered, then concluded it would only have softened her heart towards him more.
When they finally arrived at Norwich the next day, the carriage stopped and they both just sat motionless for a while. Colin tooka deep breath, and Elizabeth could see the exact moment he put on his invisible armour and becameDuke Talbotbefore exiting the carriage.
“Your Graces,” the chorus of voices greeted them as the familiar servants bowed to them.
They looked frightened of something, but relieved to see them. Thunder ran out of the carriage and sniffed everything around his new home.
“Madam is in her room,resting,” Mrs Hughes said with special emphasis that Elizabeth was unable to decipher.
Colin pursed his lips in disapproval, but nodded. “Is she alone this time?”
“Yes.”
“All right. We shall rest until dinner as well, seeing as we’ve travelled without stopping for the night.”
“Yes, Your Grace. Stevenson is ready for you upstairs.”
“Thank you,” Colin said and offered his arm to his wife.
Elizabeth resisted asking him to rest together, because as much as she wanted it, she needed to be alone with all this new knowledge. She couldn’t wait for Mary to arrive.
All the intrigue and shock surrounding their unexpected trip to Norwich had distracted her from the dreamlike sensation of being here again. It was only when she opened the door to her room that the memories overwhelmed her. She could see it all: the love, the joy, the happiness and lightness that she had lived inside these walls.
That’s the difference between Colin’s mother and me,she thought.I was truly happy here.
When the dinner bell rang, she waited a bit to see whether Colin would knock, and then made her way downstairs by herself. Mrs. Hughes waited for her at the bottom of the stairs, looking ten years older than she had last summer.
“They are in the dining room,” she said cautiously, as if expecting Elizabeth to shout at her.
Lizzie wanted to laugh at the idea, but then she heard actual shouting. She widened her eyes and looked at the other woman, who merely pressed her lips together. Lizzie apprehensively walked towards the raised, raspy female voice and her husband’s eerily calm one. They were both on their feet, on opposing sides of the large dining room table, when she entered.
