Elizabeth considered Mary’s condition once more.
“I shall think about it.”
*
“I think they are both making an effort to include you,” her mother said at tea with Lady Burnham two days later.
Lizzie sighed as she picked up her cup.
“I know,Maman,” she said gently, aware that the partially healed bond with her mother was fragile like a newborn, “I just cannot forget all the times they have failed to do so, especially Charlotte. I don’t like feeling this way,believe me, but I spent so much time making excuses for them and respecting how they might feel at the expense of my own feelings, and now I’m simply… drained.”
“I agree that they both have wronged you,” Lady Burnham said sympathetically, “especially your sister. If you decide to give them another chance, all I can advise is imagining that you’ve just met them.”
“What do you mean?” Catherine tilted her head in curiosity.
Lady Burnham set down her cup and spread both her hands in front of her with the palms facing up.
“On one hand,” she said, raising her right palm slightly, “we have all the past neglect you have experienced from your brother and sister. Now, there’s been a change of heart, and everything they do from now on,” she now lifted her left palm higher, “is their new attitude. I know that the heart sometimes cannot let go of past hurt. However, if one person apologises, makesamends, and demonstrates the aforementioned change of heart through their actions, and the person who was wronged makes a conscious, intentional decision to give them a second chance, one has to view this,” she lifted the left palm again, “as its own, separate interaction. If you do go to your sister’s house party, try not to think of the past. Pretend that you just met her and are judging her based on your interactions during that week alone. And do the same with your brother when you see him. It might surprise you.”
“Do you think that forgiveness always occurs as the result of a decision?” Lizzie asked.
“In my experience, yes. Perhaps it is different for those who are, by virtue of their innate character, more inclined to be forgiving.”
“I’ve never even considered I had the option not to forgive someone,” Miss Williams said softly.
No one said anything for a long time after that.
*
Two weeks and multiple dinners with the Coopers later, the Talbots (with Thunder sleeping at their feet), followed by Robert and Mary Ward in a separate carriage, set off to Basingstoke for the Countess of Pembroke’s house party. Elizabeth had informed her students that she would be absent for at least four Wednesdays and had been pleased to find no one who rejoiced at that information.
How different the packing process was this time, compared to the first house party she’d attended! Now that she no longer worried about impressing these people, she simply left it all in Mary’s capable hands.
After seeing him pale due to the exertion of walking all the way downstairs and awkwardly climbing into the carriage, Elizabeth fussed over her husband’s arm, which was resting in a bandage tied to his neck, until he grabbed both of her hands in one of his, and said, “Lizzie, please. I’m perfectly fine. In fact, as you like to say,I’m not an invalid. It’s merely a flesh wound that’s almost healed. I’m fine.”
She breathed a sigh of relief when she noted that his colour had returned to normal, so she let their ungloved hands linger with each other a bit until they stopped to pick up Elinor, after which she focused on her friend’s excitement and ignored her tingling palms.
“I cannot wait to see Amelia again,” Elinor said.
“Me neither. Her replies to my letters are always so short and vague! I’m looking forward to hearing all the details of her new life in person.”
“Do you think-,” Elinor said, looked at Talbot, and closed her mouth.
“Miss Woodhouse, if you were going to ask about my wife’s former fiancé, I’d rather you not,” Talbot drawled.
“I apologise, Your Grace,” Elinor said contritely, and Lizzie glared at her husband.
“Leave her alone, Talbot. In fact, Iama bit concerned about seeing the Corporal again, considering how the last time he saw the two of us together went. I sent him a heartfelt apology in my last letter when I broke our engagement, but he never acknowledged it. I hope there will be no unpleasantness,” Elizabeth admitted anxiously.
“He wouldn’t dare say anything,” Talbot said fiercely, which prompted Elinor to sigh dreamily and Lizzie to shake her head in disapproval.
“I’m so happy my cousin Andrew will be there. If he wasn’t already promised, he would be the perfect match for you,” Lizzie changed the topic.
“I’m just glad there will be other unattached people at this party. At one point, it looked like it would be just couples.”
“Wait,” Lizzie said with a frown, then listed, more to herself, “Isabella and Oakley, Amelia and the Corporal, Charlotte and the Earl…” She trailed off.
“Pratt and Stone are going to be there,” Talbot offered helpfully.
