I get up again, turn to my side, arm under my head, eyes fixed on him. Rowan rises too, mimicking my position.
“I don’t drive. So I walk or take public transport. And then… well, I like to dance.”
“I thought so.”
I blush again and I have the impression that this time he can see it, because I can feel him smiling.
I want to ask him why he went to night school, but I don’t want to get too personal. He has just opened a crack for me and I prefer to enjoy this moment and this atmosphere of platonic intimacy.
“I need to change gym,” he says. “I usually go to the one in the building where I live.”
“I think there is one down the road.”
“Have you ever been there?”
I laugh, and loudly too.
“You’re not a gym person. I get it.”
“It bores me. To death. I tried it, but it’s not for me.”
I wait to see if he wants to know what he does for me, but the question I am waiting for does not come.
“Perhaps it would be better to sleep,” Rowan says instead.
This time I am not disappointed. I feel we have come a long way and it is time to stop.
“Good night, Mr Kennedy.”
“Good night, Seth.”
I hear him move around in the chair, looking for an optimal position, throwing one of the cushions on the floor, and then I listen. I listen to his breathing in the dark. I do this for the rest of the night. The thought of him a few feet away from me keeps me from closing my eyes. And the thought of me thinking about him doesn’t make my heart beat slower. It is impossible to sleep knowing that what we are doing will hurt so much and sooner than I had planned.
Rowan
When Seth wakes up the next morning, I am already ready to go.
“Good morning,” I greet him as I stand at the living room door.
Seth fights his way up and sits down in the middle of the bed. He stays there for a few seconds, as if in a trance, his eyes half closed, his hand running through his hair.
“Hey, good morning.” He looks around, still groggy. “What time is it?”
“7.00 o’clock.”
“You’re a morning person.”
I don’t really have to leave that early. But I didn’t want to face the embarrassment of the next morning.
Last night was… unexpectedly nice. The chatter in the dark, the smiles that could be heard through the silences. The desire to know something about him that I don’t yet, and to let him know something about me. I am not ready to analyse what has happened between us, nor am I ready to let go of him completely. I thought the best way out was to leave before I had to face everyone.
“I have a lot of work to do.”
“Won’t you stay for breakfast?”
“I don’t eat breakfast.”
“Oh. Really?” He gets up slowly and stretches. My eyes can’t help but fall on his morning erection.
