* * *
LEFT THE JUDGE’S OFFICE, Seth and I sit down in a local coffee shop to catch our breath and try to figure out how to move forward from here.
“I can’t believe it,” Seth says, still shaken, his cappuccino sitting untouched under his nose. “It’s all so absurd.”
Actually, it is not. The judge’s suggestion is practical, but I don’t tell Seth. I don’t think he can help.
“This is a nightmare.” He rubs his face with one hand. He looks exhausted. This is not the usual face I’m used to seeing. “I’m going to lose them anyway, aren’t I? Whether I accept the judge’s proposal?”
I wish I could give him the answer he expects, but I must be honest.
“I don’t know, Seth.”
“They will separate them. If social services take them from me…” A single tear falls on his hand resting on the table.
My fingers move as if commanded by an external force. I can’t resist. I stroke the damp hand, then squeeze it.
They will definitely move Emily to another facility. Maybe I could try to keep Mason and Logan together.”
“Emily… Oh my God. Alone… I wonder with whom…” More tears cross her colourless and lifeless face, and now my hand goes to moisten his.
“Hey,” my fingers under his chin. Seth turns his painful eyes to me. “We’re going to fight.”
“You don’t have to do this for us.”
I want to tell him he’s right. That I don’t have to. He’d better call me out before it’s too late for everyone, but the thing in my chest starts beating again.
“I’m not going anywhere.”
“Really?”
I smile and nod at him.
“You’re… You really are… A person… What I say, a person… You are an angel who came down from heaven to save this poor, lost soul.”
I wipe away his tears with my thumb. A spontaneous and intimate gesture that belongs only to this moment. A gesture that I should be afraid of, but which inexplicably gives me peace and security.
“I am not an angel. Just your… partner, I suppose.”
“Oh my God, I can’t believe you did that.”
“Believe it, because from tonight I’m moving in with you.”
“What?”
“My apartment is not suitable for children. Besides, it’s on the other side of town. The kids have school and then there’s Mr Yang. How can he look after the children if they don’t live next door?”
“Have you thought about all these things?”
I take a sip of coffee. “It’s my job.”
“I don’t think it’s your job to live with your client.”
“There’s a first time for everything, I guess.”
Seth ponders for a few moments, his eyes fixed on his now cold drink.
“If you wanted to back out right now… I would understand. We would all understand.”
