“I wouldn’t dwell on that thought just yet.”
“How can I not think about it? If the judge decides the kids can only be with me if we are together… Oh my God! Are we really getting married?
Rowan doesn’t answer me. He gives me time to fidget and calm down and fidget again, all by myself.
“Do we have to prepare for this meeting?” I ask him.
“It’s just an informal meeting. I will take care of everything.”
“You think about too many things.”
“I’m your lawyer, right?” For the first time, there is a vibration in his voice that doesn’t belong to him.
“You are.” In mine, however, a new sadness that was not there until yesterday.
“We can do this.”
I nod and take a deep breath.
“For the kids. For them, I am ready for anything.”
This is the only certainty in my life.
I love these children more than anything in the world. And I will do everything in my power not to let them be taken away from me.
Rowan
Seth comes running up to me at the door of Judge McDonald’s office.
“You’re late,” I say quickly. I am irritated.
“I’m sorry.”
“An apology is not enough, Seth,” I tell him, harder than necessary and probably than he deserves.
“Sure, you’re right.” He lowers his gaze. “I’ll try to do better next time.”
“The judge is waiting for us,” I cut him off. I reach into my jacket pocket and pull out a tie.
“The tie, right.” Seth shakes his head vigorously. “I’m… a mess.”
I fix the tie around his neck, then lift the collar of his shirt and slide it over him; a few movements, his rapid breathing that makes my fingers tremble, the feeling of having gone too far for no reason at all, and that inexplicable thrill of excitement that runs through me every time we’re this close.
I adjust the collar again and then, without realising it, my hands slide down his chest, caressing the silky fabric of his shirt.
“Now you’re… er… good.”
I take a step back as I hear Seth gasp for air.
“Are you ready?”
“If you are.”
I thought I was until a few minutes ago. Then you appeared before me, handsome and messy as ever.
“Take a deep breath,” I urge him, and then I knock on the office's door. When I hear him asking to come in, I open the door and signal for Seth to go first.
He smiles shyly at me, then takes a seat in the office, followed by me.
