“I miss him too,” I admit, even though I shouldn’t.
“We’ll make it, Uncle Seth. The four of us. Together. We don’t need Rowan,” Mason tries to encourage me and his sister.
“True,” Logan adds. “We’ve done well without him before.”
We were fine, it’s true. I was fine. Before he came into my life to make me believe I was worthy of love. Before he fooled me with his gentle ways and his caresses and those looks that only I understood. Before he made me believe in something that never existed, except in my head.
“It was all my fault. I never should have…”
“What? Fall in love with him?” Mason asks.
“What are you talking about? Fall in love… me?”
“We know anyway,” Emily says. “You can tell.”
“Oh yeah?”
“And quite a lot!’ Logan comments, taking an elbow from his brother.
‘Oh God,” I cover my face with my hands. “I’m a mess.”
“The best mess that could have happened to us,” Mason echoes his father’s words, plunging me back into another wave of sadness and melancholy.
I didn’t think I could cry so much in one evening, but apparently, there’s always time to be proven wrong.
“What would I do without you?”
The kids crowd around me. Their love is the best thing that could happen to me, and I know that whatever happens, no one will be able to take away what we have and what we share.
We are a family.
No matter what a judge says.
And we always will be.
Rowan
Despite his request, his harsh words and everything that has happened in the last few days, I still show up at his door.
I have tried to go home, to think of myself as I did until a few weeks ago, to forget him and what we shared, but I think it is too late for all that.
I was already fucked before I even realised it.
What can I do now?
All I can do is beg for his forgiveness and hope that he will find it in his good heart to give me a second chance.
“What are you doing here?’ He asks me, his hand on the doorframe, his face tired, his eyes red as if he has cried too much and because of what I have done.
“I just… wanted to know how you are doing.”
“We’re managing. You shouldn’t have bothered to come all this way.”
“What a bother, Seth… What are you saying…”
“It’s late, I’d better…” He tries to close the door, but I stop it with my hand.
“Please, let me come home.”
