Seth
As I enter the courtroom, Rowan stands up immediately. “Hi.”
“Good morning.” I take my seat, and Rowan mimics my gesture.
“I tried to call.”
I try to ignore him, though it’s not easy. I missed him so much. I was tempted to rip my heart out of my chest to stop feeling this unbearable pain.
“Your calls are not welcome,” I tell him, maintaining the toughness I was trying to show.
“I understand that.”
“Then stop.”
“Is that really what you want?”
I take a deep breath and turn to face him. His beautiful green eyes are clouded with sadness and something much deeper that looks so much like the pain I feel right now at being so close to him without being able to touch him.
“You said sleeping with me was collateral damage.”
“I didn’t mean it…”
“It hurt. So much. To hear you define what we had that way.”
“I am aware of that, and I am sorry. I assure you that was not what… Please, let’s talk about this calmly.”
“You said it was all fiction.”
“Seth…”
“I trusted you.”
“I don’t know what to say.”
“Then save your words for the judge.”
He lowers his head and sighs. “I am truly sorry. Please, believe me.”
“That’s not enough.”
He lifts his eyes to mine.
“You hurt me. I don’t know if I can forget it.”
Never in my life have I been so tough, so firm on my positions. I owe this to myself. For too many years, I have trusted the wrong people and allowed others to treat me like a doormat, suffering because of their opinions, their glances, and my past experiences.
This journey has taught me to focus on myself and to stop relying on others for support. It’s just me and the kids now, and we are the only ones who truly matter.
“I just want you to be my lawyer from now on. Nothing more.”
“What do you mean?”
“I want you to stop pretending to be my partner.”
“But Seth…”
“We don’t need guarantees.”
