I nod, anxious.
“OK.” Rowan slides the letter out of the envelope while I turn on the lamp.
“I always carry it with me,” I explain, his eyes following Mark’s words. “And I read it at least once a day. It gives me strength. And it helps me feel close to him.”
I remain silent to allow Rowan time to read Mark’s letter in peace. When he has finished, he wipes his eyes with his shirt and hands it to me again.
“Why did you want me to read it?”
I shrug.
Actually, I don’t know. Perhaps I am seeking confirmation of my brother’s words, hoping for someone to tell me that Mark was right and that the decision to leave his children in my care was the right one.
“He really loved you.”
I nod, my throat tight with tears.
“He trusted you completely.”
“I never understood why.”
Rowan gently wipes away my tears with his thumbs. “You must really miss him,” he says.
“You have no idea,” I reply.
“Come here.” Rowan pulls me closer, wrapping his arms around me, filling me with comfort and confidence. “I’m sure we could at least change the judge’s perspective, if not entirely eliminate his doubts.”
I quickly pull away from Rowan. “No.”
He looks confused. “I don’t understand.”
“I didn’t let you read the letter for this reason,” I say, placing the letter safely back in my bag.
“It’s something private. Personal.”
Rowan gets up and comes closer, his warm hands resting on my shoulders, gently encouraging me to face him.
“They are his last words to me. They are mine.”
“They could help.”
“I will not use something so intimate to win the case.”
“Seth…”
I release myself from his grip and go back to bed. “I am not going to change my mind. Please respect my decision.”
Rowan sighs heavily, then nods.
“Thank you.”
He also comes back to bed.
“I didn’t want to pressure you. I’m sorry.”
“It doesn’t matter.”
“Yes, it does matter.” He lies and invites me to let go in his arms. “Come back to me, please. Let me hold you.”
