“Please. I know, I know it’s wrong, that the truth could come out, and it’ll all be over in twenty-one days anyway, but I… I…”
“You’d rather pretend.”
“I’ll do anything. I’ll come with you to dinners, parties, to meet your family if you want. I know I’m asking a lot of you.”
“Someone’s going to get hurt, you know. Even though you’re trying to protect yourself, it’ll happen, and you’ll be the one to blame.”
I watch his Adam’s apple bob up and down, but he says nothing.
“You’re asking me to spend Christmas with you.”
“I know, and I’ll try to make it up to you. You’ll be free by New Year, I promise.”
“You said for the holidays.”
“Twenty-one days from today brings us to the 26th of December.”
“You’ve already counted…?”
“At midnight on the 25th, you’ll be free.”
“And we’ll never see each other again?”
He takes exactly twenty-one seconds to respond – one for every day we have left together. I count them in my head as I try to remember to breathe.
“Then we’ll go our separate ways.”
This doesn’t sound good at all. It sounds like a total disaster; like a huge, inevitable disaster. A disaster I would contribute to.
“Please.”
“You don’t… You don’t have to beg me.”
“Does this mean you’ll say yes?”
I nod, and he smiles.
“Can you promise me something?”
“Anything.”
“Promise me that no one will get hurt. During there twenty-one days, and after them… Can you promise me that no one will suffer because of all this?”
He can’t promise me anything with any certainty. We both know it.
“I promise I’ll try.”
15Sean
My phone vibrates in my pocket as soon as my lesson is over. I pull it out and look at the name on the screen; an irrational fear that he’s reconsidered makes me tremble for a moment. I bring the phone to my ear.
“H-Hi.” I wish I could seem calm, disinterested, at ease with all of this. But I don’t think I’ll manage.
“Are you busy?” He asks.
“My lesson just finished.” I grab my bag and leave the lecture hall. “What’s up?”
“My mother.”
