“And he’s an arse.”
I couldn’t agree more.
“Maybe, but that’s not the point.”
“You were doing one of your students?”
“What? No!”
“I’m not here to judge.”
“I didn’t…” I keep quiet as the waiter approaches with our food, waiting for him to go back inside before speaking again, through gritted teeth. “It’s not what it looks like.”
“And what does it look like,professor?”
“Don’t call me that.”
“What? Professor?”
“Please, don’t. Not in that way.”
“You slept with him, didn’t you?”
My face burns in embarrassment and I’m sucked into total humiliation.
“Only afterwards. After the course was over. Not before – I’d never do that. He was my student. I’m not… I’m not that kind of guy.”
“What kind of guy would that be?”
I lower my gaze to my coffee. “Someone who takes advantage of his position to get what he wants.”
“I would never have thought that.”
We sit in silence for a few moments. Even after what he’s just said, I still can’t look at him.
“You were attracted to him, or maybe you were…”
“I don’t know why we’re talking about my life all of a sudden. It’s hardly the main reason we’re here, is it?” I interrupt before he can continue.
“What do you mean?”
“Why are you pretending to have a boyfriend instead of just finding a real one?”
“Because I never want to feel the way you felt a few minutes ago.”
“Oh…” His honesty leaves me speechless. I didn’t expect an answer, and certainly didn’t expect to empathise with him so deeply.
I sigh heavily and take off my glasses, resting them on the table. I rub my tired eyes and decide to simply tell him the truth.
“He used to flirt with me during lessons. He sat in the front row, used to ask ridiculous questions…” I smile bitterly at the memory. “He would leave a coffee on my desk at the beginning of each lesson, with his number scrawled on the side. I only called him at the end of the semester, when our paths had gone their separate ways.”
“Then what happened?”
“Then I believed him, for a brief – a very brief – period. One more semester, to be precise.” I lean back in my chair, a sigh laden with disappointment escaping my lips. I put my glasses back on, my eyes falling onto the window of the café, where my reflection reveals more about me than Eric could ever imagine.
“It was fun for him. The idea that I was a professor, that I was off-limits, excited him,” I say, embarrassed. “But when I stopped being his professor, I was just… Ordinary.” I look at him, his dark eyes focused on me. “He started seeing someone else. Another professor of a different course he was taking. I walked in on them, in a café in town. They were making out like teenagers.”
I can still feel the humiliation of that day as if it were taking place in front of me right now.
