“Sure, that seems fair.”
“Try not to talk too much, okay?”
“Mmm?”
“I know what you professors are like.”
“You do?”
“You talk. A lot. About things which aren’t very interesting for anyone else.”
“Are you telling me we’re boring?”
He shrugs.
It’s as if he’s said yes.
“So have you been out with a lot of professors to make a statement like that?”
“You and I aren’t going out.”
“Then what do you call this?” I ask, gesturing between the two of us.
“A fake date?”
I nod, thoughtful.
“Next rule,” he continues, ignoring me and the time it’s taking for me to digest his every word. “No contact.”
“Contact? What kind of contact?”
“Between me and you.”
“Do we have to keep a social distance?”
“I’m being serious.”
He seems to be the one who’s annoyed, here, but can he hear himself?
“No… Brushing against each other.”
I narrow my eyes and drop open my mouth, but decide to stay silent and see where he thinks he’s going next.
“Don’t take my hand or touch my arm or any other part of my body.”
I’m about to politely tell him where to shove it when his speech becomes ridiculous.
“No kissing.”
Kissing? Is he seriously talking about kissing?
Who the hell would I kiss?
“Just say hello, shake hands, and nod.”
I’m still trying to process the ‘kissing’ topic.
“Just try to be… A nobody.”
