1Eric
“So, what are you planning to do?” Jake hands me back the invite, which I fold and slip into my back pocket.
“I don’t know.”
“You could just not show up, like you haven’t for the past… What, three or four times?”
“Maybe.”
“But…” Jake continues, piling a forkful of fettuccine into his mouth before chewing slowly, waiting for my response.
“He’ll be there.”
“Who?”
I cast him a knowing gaze.
“Ahh… Got it.”
“He’s been back for a few weeks.” I try to be vague about it, as if I’d just happened to stumble across this information – not as if I’ve been desperately checking my ex’s every movement in the hope of finding some trace of the past, or even proof of his absence.
“And you don’t want to see him. But you also don’t want him to know you don’t want to see him.”
Only Jake could’ve understood my twisted reasoning – that’s why I invited him to the restaurant for dinner after work. It’s also why we’ve been friends for so many years.
I take a sip of my beer. “That’s pretty much it, yeah.”
“How long has it been since you last saw him?”
“Not since last Christmas.”
“A while, then.”
Never long enough. I’d only gone over that time to say hello to my granny, who loves it when I come round for Christmas. It reminds her of old times, when I was a little boy running through the shreds of wrapping paper on Christmas morning, hoping to find the present I’d been wishing for.
“And you don’t think now is the time to face this thing head-on?”
“Is that not what I’m doing?”
Jake dabs at his mouth with a napkin and takes a sip of wine, before letting his eyes fall onto mine. He speaks to me, clearly and directly.
“No.”
It doesn’t take many words to be clear and direct. Sometimes all it takes is one look, or the right tone.
“Since that last Christmas dinner you’ve been avoiding going to any events, meet-ups, lunches… Anywhere he might be. Which means you’ve been avoiding everything.”
“That might be true.”
“You’ve also been avoiding going to see your parents for the same reason.”
“That’s not true. There are a million reasons I don’t go to my parents’.”
“I wouldn’t exactly say you’re facing anything. I’d say you’re hiding from it.”
“I’m not hiding from anything. I’m just trying to avoid having to bump into him.”
“And how long do you intend to do that for?”
