After a few minutes,we sit at the table. I’m sitting across from that dickhead – I’ll have to keep my gaze fixed firmly on my plate so that I don’t have to look at his smug face all evening.
I’ve been given a beer, though, which is a small consolation. Ian said that I’d already drunk too much for tonight and that I should stick to water, but Riley took pity and passed me a beer under the table. I guess, all things considered, she’s not so bad.
“So, Nick, how was Cape Town?”
“A dream, as always. You really should take Riley there, Ian.”
Nick’s just got back from one of his photo shoots.
“Oh, sure. I’ll take her everywhere, as soon as I can,” Ian says, and I can already feel the vomit making its way up my throat.
“Do you really have to be like that?” The words escape from my mouth. I just can’t hold back sometimes.
All three of them look at me quizzically.
“In front of me…of us. Of everyone, for fuck’s sake! I used to prefer you, you know? When you were a cynical bastard.”
“Ryan…” Nick tries to shut me up, but I glare at him.
“You shouldn’t even be speaking to me!”
“Please, calm down…” he tries to reason with me.
“Mind your own fucking business.”
“Ryan!” Ian bolts up from his chair.
I do the same, my chair screeching across the floor. “What do you want, Ian? What do you all want from me? You all treat me like a little boy, like I’m stupid, like someone who…”
“We treat you as you deserve to be treated,” Nick interjects, Ian immediately holding back my arm before I can wring his neck with it. “When you start to act like a man, then maybe…”
“Don’t tell me that you, of all people, are about to give me a lesson about maturity? I won’t accept anything from you, Nick.”
“So are all our dinners going to end up like this?” says Ian, visibly upset.
“You should’ve thought of that before you invitedhimalong.”
“You’re in our house, Ryan. If you want to continue to be invited, then behave like an adult and have some respect.”
“Oh, well, if that’s how it is then I’ll just get going. Then I can leave this nice family portrait that I don’t ever want to be a part of.” I walk away from the table and make my way quickly towards the front door, but I stop with my hand on the door handle.
I turn to them. “Sorry, Riley,” I say, through gritted teeth, and then I make my leave.
I go up to my car, the keys in my hand, but before I can open the door, someone stops me with a hand on my shoulder.
I turn, furious.
“What the fuck do you want from me?” I shout in Nick’s face. “Can’t you just leave me in peace?”
“No, I can’t. You’re my brother.”
“Oh, really…? It didn’t seem like I was your brother when you decided to…”
“For God’s sake Ryan! I made a mistake, okay? I can’t turn back time, I can’t undo it. But I swear that I’m sorry, okay? I’m sorry that there’s not a day goes by where I don’t want to spit at my own reflection in the mirror.”
“Your apology isn’t enough. I don’t want anything to do with it.”
“So tell me what I can do. I want my brother back.”
