“Stop staring at her.”
“For fuck’s sake, Ryan. I wasn’t staring at her!”
“Yes, you were,” my son adds.
“See? He noticed, too!”
“It’s impossible not to, it’s like you have X-ray vision,” Evan comments. I’m utterly confused.
“Is that true, Nick?” their father interjects.
“I wasn’t… oh, fine. I just had a little glance at her tits, okay? How can I not? She’s sitting right in front of me and they’re leaning right over the table!”
It’s only then that I realise what they’re talking about.
Ryan jumps up, Nick doing the same.
“Outside, right now!” he threatens.
“Oh, great,” Ian says, getting up too. “A nice relaxed family dinner.”
All three of them storm outside, slamming the door behind them, as everyone tries to go back to eating as if nothing had happened.
Evan gets up. “I don’t want to miss this,” he says.
“Oh, kid, you’ll see a lot of this. Your father and uncles are all hotheads,” Mr O’Connor comments, cutting at his meat.
Your father? Your uncles?
Dear God, where am I?
Evan heads outside without even acknowledging what Mr O’Connor said, as I sit there, frozen, with no idea what to do.
Riley grabs my hand.
“Don’t worry, they won’t kill each other. Ian won’t let them.”
A few minutes later, the door clatters open. Nick is the first to come in. He sits back down as if nothing had happened. Ian and Ryan follow.
No one asks. No one speaks.
What kind of house have I ended up in?
Evan sits down next to Mr O’Connor and says, loudly: “I love this family.”
Mr O’Connor smiles, nodding.
“I’m happy to hear you say that, boy. Really happy.”
* * *
I headout into the back garden after dinner for a cigarette. The sky is clear, even though I can’t see any stars, and the moonlight lights up the lawn, making the outside lights completely useless. I like this neighbourhood. It’s peaceful: an ideal place to raise a family just like this one.
“There you are,” Ryan comes over and sits next to me on the bench.
“I just needed a minute.”
“I get it. We’re not exactly an easy family to be around.”
